Pain Is Just A Simple Compromise
by LifeIsJustAGame
Summary: When Jordan Jones' best friend Harry Styles comes home from his first world tour, bringing the rest of One Direction with him, she can't believe her luck. But when chaos ensues can she trust these boys to keep her safe, and even find love in the mix?
1. A Familiar Face

_**Well, this is my first story… that I've published on here, anyways. I'm really excited :D I just wanna say thanks to DreamsOfATeenager, without whom I wouldn't have started writing stories, and resistanceisuseless for fuelling my obsession xD please review! Thanks guys :3**_

Chapter 1: A Familiar Face

DING DONG!

The doorbell rings and I rush to answer it, stopping in front of the mirror to check my hair and makeup is okay; not a single, naturally-blonde, wavy hair out of place, and I don't look like I've been gangbanged by Crayola. I swing the door open and am pulled into a pair of strong, naturally tanned arms.

"Hey! I missed you!" One of my favourite people in the world, Harry Styles, practically screams at me as he engulfs me in a crushing embrace.

"Hey, I missed you too!" I laugh and pull out of his embrace. "Come in- Oh wait; is it okay for you to talk to me? Am I cool enough to be talking to the gorgeous Harry Styles, 1/5 of the world-famous One Direction?" I peer out of the door, pretending to look for paparazzi.

"Shut up." He grins and takes my hand, pulling me inside and slamming the door behind us. He drags me towards the kitchen and I grab some Coke out of the fridge.

"So… how was the first world tour?" I ask, pouring us both a glass.

"Incredible! But I missed everyone so much!" He sighs, sitting on a stool in front of the kitchen counter.

"I bet you've been back to see your mum though, haven't you, Mummy's boy?" I laugh and he flicks my arm.

"Shut up! Maybe…." He blushes lightly, his dimples growing more prominent as he tries to fight a smile, and I giggle.

"Three whole months of doing things for yourself; however did you cope?"

"Right, you meanie, I was going to take you to a welcome home party with the boys, but…"

"Yay!" I jump onto his lap and he laughs. "I'm so sorry; you're my bestest friend ever and you're not a mummy's boy! Please take me, pleeeeeeeeeeease?"

"Okay." Harry sighs and I climb off of his lap. "But if you embarrass me I'll tell them some cringy stories, like the time we went to that party and…"

"Okay, okay, I won't!" I cut him off and he chuckles.

"And I'm so sorry that I missed your 18th! I have a present for you later!" He grins cheekily.

"That's okay, I missed yours too. Here you go." I grab his present out of my hand bag and hand it to him. I also give him a card with "1D" stamped all over it and laugh as he tears into the present like a small child on Christmas morning. His eyes widen in shock when he sees what I have bought him and I blush.

"You remembered?" He pulls the Calvin Klein wallet out of the box. We were shopping before he went away and he pointed this out, so when he sneaked off to buy my present I bought it for him.

"You like?" I giggle nervously and he hugs me.

"Yeah, I do. Thank you." He runs his hand through his sexy dark curls, still holding me tight with his other arm. I relish in the warmth and familiarity of his embrace and then mentally kick myself; _I can't think of him that way anymore._

"Good." I laugh, gently stepping out of his embrace before it gets awkward. "Are we going or what?"

"Yeah, c'mon; you'll love my new car!" He says as he grabs his stuff and runs out of the front door. I quickly text my mum: "going to Harry's. See you later. Love you xx", and wait till she replies: "Ok. Have fun. Love you too xx" before following Harry out of the door. I know I'm eighteen now but it's still important that my mum knows where I am, considering I'm living with her. _Plus I'm too lazy to go and find some paper and leave a note…_ I lock the door and then turn around and stop in awe when I catch sight of his new car.

"You like?" He jokes from the front seat of his brand new, metallic-silver Audi TT.

"Yeah, of course I do! But you've only just got your licence; no way are you experienced enough to have a brand new car!" I sigh, turning and looking at my heap-of-crap Fiesta in the drive.

"Yeah, well, I played the whole 'I'm an adult now and I'm in a band' thing and my parents gave in." He grins cheekily.

"Unfair!" I exclaim as I climb into the front seat and sink into the gorgeous leather seats.

"Happy late-birthday!" Harry drops a card and present into my lap, interrupting my admiration of the interior of his car.

"Oooh thanks." I open the card first to be polite and then I rip into the present like a madman.

"Oh. My. God." I just stare at the signed One Direction calendar in front of me; and when I say signed; I mean all of them have signed little messages on each of their pictures.

"Well, what do you think?" He nudges me. I know he thinks I only like 1D because he's in it, but he's wrong; he being in it is just a bonus! _It's Louis I really like…_

"I love it! Thank you!" I have a slight fan girl moment which I attempt to silence… unsuccessfully.

"Well, you can thank the guys when we get there." He laughs at the little excited squeak that escapes my lips and then speeds off in the direction of his house with me still slightly drooling over my birthday present. I know it seems like more of a 15 year-old girl obsession as opposed to an 18 year-old girl obsession but come on; who can resist 'em?

_**Well, there's the first chapter :) I know it's really short but it's the first fic I've written so I'm not entirely sure what to do :L please leave me a message and tell me what you think!xx**_


	2. What A Way To End A Party

_**So, what did you think of my first chapter? Don't worry; it starts getting interesting soon :D **_

_**I have a few chapters written already, so I'll upload them a.s.a.p., and then I'll just update when I can (: **_

_**Please keep reading and reviewing (:**_

Chapter 2: What A Way To End A Party

"Where have you been?" Harry is attacked by a stripy, dark-haired blur, and I stand in the doorway nervously.

"To get Jordan. Jordan, meet Louis." Harry steps out of the way, and Louis steps in front of me, piercing me with his deep blue eyes; gauging my reaction. My heart threatens to explode out of my chest and I fight for control.

"Hi, I'm Jordan." I hold out my hand, surprised at the layer of calm and coolness in my voice.

"Hiya, love." He smiles and shakes my hand. "So you're the one we had to sign the calendar for?"

"Oh God. Yeah. That's me. Stupid fangirl. Sorry." I blush crimson and look down at my sparkly blue nail polish.

"Don't worry; it was fun! But isn't February a little late to be getting a calendar?"

"Yeah, but it's only Harry on January, so I'm not missing much." I wink at Louis.

"Oh, offended!" Harry jabs me on the arm and I giggle.

"I like you; you're funny!" Louis laughs and holds up his hand for a high 5. I accept, and have a brief fangirl moment, which I hide masterfully from Louis. Unfortunately, Harry knows me too well, and laughs at me.

"C'mon JJ, come and meet the guys…" Harry uses his old nickname for me and we both blush and look away.

"Awkward..." Louis makes an awkward turtle with his hands. "I sense history…?"

"You don't talk about me? Offended!" I turn away from them both, pretending to be hurt.

"Sure I do, just… not that." Harry hugs me from behind and my heart skips a beat.

"Well now I'm offended!" Louis flicks Harry. "I'm your best mate; not telling me girl history is against the rules!"

"Okay, I'm sorry; I'll tell you all about it when there isn't a room of people waiting for us so they can start partying." Harry wraps his arms around Louis, who dramatically milks the moment a little more before giving in.

"Okay, can we go in now?" I flick Harry's beautiful curls impatiently, and he grins and takes my hand.

**Half an hour later…**

"Hello there." Niall Horan's cute Irish accent stuns me into silence. "So… you're Jordan?"

"Oh, yeah, the fangirl; sorry." I blush delicately, having already had this conversation 3 times; once with Louis, and then with Zayn and Liam when Harry led me into the kitchen. Louis hides his laugh with a cough.

"No problem; it's nice to finally meet you!" He hugs me lightly, and then bounces off, leaving me alone with Louis.

"So…" Louis looks for a conversation topic. "How old are you?"

"18; it was my birthday on the 4th, 3 days after Harry." I sigh, remembering all the past jokes and teasing.

"Only 2 days ago? What did you do?"  
>"Went clubbing, got drunk, and then was late for college the next day; usual 18th really." I grin at him, trying to sound cool.<p>

"Hey, no need to try so hard." Louis pokes me on the arm playfully. "We all think you're really cool."

"Aw thanks." I look down at my toes again. All the boys walk over and start talking to us, and I'm glad for the distraction. In about an hour I learn so much about them, and it's like they're friends already. Louis makes a load of jokes, and we're laughing so hard that I almost don't hear the doorbell. Harry's busy talking to Niall, and his parents have gone out for more drinks, so I go and answer it. Louis is curious, so he follows me.

"Hello; is there a Jordan Jones here? We were told she could be found here?" A police officer asks me.

"Yeah, that's me." I say sceptically, and Louis puts his hand on my shoulder reassuringly.

"I think you'd better come with us." The second officer looks sympathetic, which makes my heart ache.

"What's going on?" Harry asks, walking up behind me.

"We don't know." Louis says. "What's this about?"

"Miss?" The officer asks me if it's okay to speak in front of them. I nod, and both boys grasp my hand.

"It's your mother. I'm sorry; she's been in a car crash."


	3. Why Is This Happening To Me?

_**Hey guys (: what do you think so far? Bit of a cliffhangeer on the last one, eh? :D hope you're liking it (:  
>please keep reading and reviewing (: <strong>_

Chapter 3: Why Is This Happening To Me?

I just stand there, shocked into complete zombie mode. Harry pulls me into a bone crushing hug, and Louis rubs my back reassuringly, whispering things like "it's okay." A sudden thought hits me like a ton of bricks, and I abruptly pull away and spin round to face the officers, who are still stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"But why are you here? That means…" I trail off, unable to speak the words. Harry starts to shake his head in denial.

"Can we come in?" The first officer asks me. I'm annoyed by his evasiveness, and I start to demand an answer, but Harry puts a finger to my lips and shakes his head. He leads the officers into the family room, and I start to follow, but Louis stops me.

"Are you okay with me being here; do you want me to leave you with Harry?" I nod, and I'm surprised to see a brief flash of hurt in his eyes; he obviously had a whole different scenario in his head, and I regret my answer immediately.

"Someone needs to tell the boys what's going on, and Harry's already in there, so…" I pause, and he starts to walk away. I act on impulse, and say "Come back though, yeah?"

"Yeah, of course." He smiles. He kisses my forehead and then heads towards the kitchen. I compose myself and head towards the family room. I think there's something going on between me and Louis… _but he has a girlfriend?_ _Okay, this is going to have to wait. _I take a deep breath and walk into the room, afraid of what I'm going to be told…

As I walk into the room Harry takes my hand, moves up to the edge of the sofa, and pulls me down next to him, still not letting of my hand. The officer begins to speak, but stops when Louis walks into the room, followed by the rest of the guys. Louis sits on my other side and puts his arm around my shoulders, Zayn and Niall sit on the arms of the sofa and squeeze my shoulders reassuringly, and Liam sits on the floor by my leg and smiles up at me. I've known the guys for an afternoon and I already feel like part of a gang. Maybe it has something to do with me being Harry's best friend… and ex-girlfriend…

"Miss Jones?" The male officer interrupts my train of thought and nods to his partner, who looks at me intensely.

"Are you sure you want all of these people here, Miss Jones?" she asks, her stern eyes melting into concern.

"Yes, they're friends. Now can you get to the point please?" I don't mean to be rude, but I just want a bloody answer.

"I'm sorry, but your mother didn't make it; she died on the scene." I know the answer before she speaks it, but when she does the words hit me like individual daggers, and I bring my knees up to my chin and wrap my arms around them, trying to keep myself from falling apart. _My mum is dead? She can't be!_

"Oh, God." Harry sighs like a broken man and pulls me into a tight embrace. He was like the son my mum never had, and he's loved her like a second mother since we first became best friends at primary school when we were 4. He must be hurting as much as I am… no, I don't think that's possible; losing a family member is awful, but the pain of losing a parent is indescribable- losing a parent is one of those things that you can't even think "what if that happened" because it pulls you into a black hole of inescapable pain. I abruptly walk out of the room, not wanting them all to see me fall apart.

I silently stand in the hall facing where I came from, unsure of what to do, and a lone tear slowly glides down my cheek.

"JJ." Harry approaches me carefully like I'm a time bomb just waiting to explode.

"She can't be gone." I manage to find my voice, and regret it instantly; not speaking was the only thing keeping me together. I try to stop the tears but they fall uncontrollably, and I turn away from Harry, attempting to hide my pain.

"But she is, JJ. I'm so sorry." He puts his hands on my shoulders and turns me around.

"Jordan?" Louis walks up to us, and when he sees our pain, he holds out his arms and says "You guys need a hug?" I nod and lean in to him, and he wraps one of his arms round my waist and his other around Harry, pulling him into our hug. Zayn, Liam and Niall come out and join in our group hug, and I cry softly on Louis shoulder, hoping nobody else notices. I feel a hand squeeze mine gently and let go, and when I look up Niall smiles at me sadly and mouths "it'll be okay." I know the guys don't know me very well- Harry got them all to follow me on Twitter, and I've spoken to all of them a few times on the phone- but Harry must have said some really good things about me, because they all seem to genuinely like me. That's what I need right now; friends.

"Miss Jones?" The policewoman tries to get my attention, and I disentangle myself from the group and wipe my eyes. "I know this is difficult, but obviously we are unable to get hold of your father, so you need to come with us." I nod, even though I really want to scream "NO!"

"Why can't you get hold of her Dad?" Louis asks. Harry grimaces and mouths "he doesn't know, sorry!" at me.

"Well, I'm sure they can get hold of him, but there's not much he can do from a prison cell." I spit out sarcastically.

"Oh Christ… Sorry." Louis hits himself on the forehead.

"It's okay; you didn't know." He shakes his head, embarrassed, and I place a hand on his arm. "It's okay."

"Miss, are you okay to come with us?" The male officer asks me, his deep brown eyes filled with sympathy.

"Um… yeah, I guess…" I look down, not wanting to go but knowing I'm the only one who can. I wish I had a big brother.

"I'll drive you, if you want?" Louis offers me his hand.

"Thank you." I smile at him tentatively and take his hand. Then I turn to Harry and hold out my other hand. "Coming?"

"Yes." Harry grips my hand, and I look at all the guys, and when they smile I realise; it's going to be okay.


	4. It's Just One Thing After Another

_**So what did you think of my last chapter? You like? xD I am so in love with writing this right now (: my obsession with Louis and Harry is fuelling my desire to write xD **_

_**Please keep reading (: and review! Please? ;D **_

Chapter 4: It's Just One Thing After Another

"Here you go, JJ." Harry hands me a steaming mug of hot chocolate covered in whipped cream and marshmallows, and slides into the seat next to me. Louis sits down opposite us and laughs at the size of my drink.

"Thanks guys." We've been stuck at the police station for ages, and then I had to go and identify the body. I couldn't even keep myself together at the thought of it, so Harry went in instead. The look of sheer pain and anguish on his face broke my heart, and he just sat and cried for ages, which broke me down too. Louis had to calm us down, and I feel so bad for him; to be exposed to such raw emotion but to not really be part of it must be so overwhelming. He's really kept us both sane; he's a saint. He drove us to this little coffee shop, and they left me alone with my thoughts for a while, but now I just need a distraction. Louis reaches his hands over his head and stretches, and I marvel at the way his (typically) stripy t-shirt moves fluidly with his taut muscles.

"It's rude to stare." He winks and grins at me and I blush.

"I'm sorry this has ruined your party." I say, changing the subject.

"Don't worry." Louis says to me over the rims of his glasses.

"It's okay. But you owe me a marshmallow." Harry teases and steals one. Louis starts to speak but is interrupted by the beginning of 'What Makes You Beautiful'. I instantly check my phone; it's not me…?

"Hello?" Louis answers his phone and I giggle.

"Your song is your ringtone… really?" I poke him and he waves his hand at me and mouths "piss off!"

"Hannah?" He says into the phone, looking deeply confused. "What's up? Wait, what? No!" He abruptly gets up and walks out, pulling his hood up over his hat (_which actually looks really hot…. SHHHH!)_ in the hopes that no-one will recognise him. Harry looks at me and raises and eyebrow.

"What the hell?" I say. Harry shrugs, and we finish our drinks in silence until Louis returns. He sits down and sighs heavily.

"What's up, mate?" Harry asks quietly.

"Not here." Louis looks around. Sure enough, there's a load of girls in the next booth listening to our conversation.

"C'mon, let's go home." Harry grabs my hand and pulls me out of the booth. I grab Louis' and pull him with us.

"What happened?" Harry asks when we get to the car. I slide into the passenger seat, Harry gets in the backseat and Louis hunches in the driving seat. He starts to repeatedly bang his head on the steering wheel.

"We're over." He whispers. "She thinks I've found someone else, and she says we're better off as friends anyway."

"Oh no, mate. I'm sorry." Harry leans forward and pats Louis on the shoulder. Louis sits up and sighs.

"It's okay; we've been on the outs for ages. I just didn't want it to end like this." I feel so bad for him so I lean over and hug him. He rests his head on my shoulder and sighs again.

"It'll be okay; you just need some time." I know I sound patronising, but I know what he's going through. I turn to Harry, who sees the understanding in my eyes and mouths "I'm sorry."

Before Harry went on the X Factor, we had been together for 6 months. It was the kind of relationship where we had been best friends for 12 years and thought "let's take it to the next step." It didn't work. We ended up arguing all the time and we realised that we're probably better off as mates. He told me this in decidedly unfriendly circumstances, which resulted in a row, and we didn't talk for another 6 months.

"Yeah, I know, I'll be fine." Louis kisses my cheek and then his gaze lingers on me. I look into his eyes and I feel safe.

"C'mon, we better get you home." Harry makes us jump and ruins the moment. I turn and glare at him, before righting myself. _What moment? There's nothing going on here! Even if there is, I will not be a rebound girl!_

"Yeah, let's go." Louis turns on the engine and I give him directions to my house.

When we get there, I kiss them both on the cheek, thank them again and then get out of the car. Louis follows me and walks me to the door.

"Thanks for being there for me." We both say at the same time.

"No problem." I laugh and kiss him on the cheek again.

"You're welcome." He kisses my forehead. "Today was really nice- before the police and that…"

"Yeah." I look down at my toes. "You're all really nice in person. It was really nice meeting you all; you're so normal!"

"Yeah, well, we're not aliens!" He lightens the mood and I laugh.

"You know what I mean!" I giggle. "Where are you all staying?"  
>"Harry's stepdad converted the garage into a little flat; we'll stay there for a few days before going home to each other's families."<p>

"Cool." I nod absentmindedly. I really don't wanna go inside. Louis picks up on that and takes my hands.

"If you don't wanna be alone, that's fine. Come back with us; I'm sure Harry and his parents won't mind."

"Yeah, that's fine." Harry suddenly appears, making us jump apart like naughty school children. "Go and get some stuff and come with us. I was gonna offer anyway, 'cause I don't like the idea of you being alone tonight."

"Thanks, Har." I unlock the door and stand in the doorway, afraid to enter and be engulfed in memories.

"You want us to come in with you?" Louis whispers in my ear. I nod slightly, and then he says louder "is it okay if we get a drink, Jordan?"

"Yeah, that's fine." I giggle quietly at his act. He beckons Harry in first and then stands in the doorway and waits for me to gather my thoughts. I'm unable to enter; it's like my heart has made an invisible barrier in front of me, protecting me from the pain of the memories inside. They wait for me for a while, and the Harry leaves us and goes upstairs.

"It's okay." Louis holds his hand out to me. "I… We won't leave you."

"Thanks." I take his hand and let him lead me inside, trying not to wince at the pictures and memories. Then the smell of my mum's perfume hits me, and my knees collapse under me.

"Whoa." Louis gasps, grabbing my waist and holding me upright. "Jordan? Jordan? HARRY!"

"What's going on?" Harry runs in and they both lead me to the sofa. Louis tries to wipe my tears away, but they fall too thick and fast for him.

"I don't know; she was fine, and then she just broke down…" he trails off and studies me anxiously, tracing soothing patterns on my cheek.

"She's not here!" I sob hysterically. "I'm never going to see her again. That text was the last time I spoke to her! The last thing I said to her face was "don't forget to buy carrots", for fuck sake! If only I'd gone with her! Then she wouldn't have died alone and…"

"Hey, hey, hey, don't say that!" Harry exclaims, holding my shoulders and shaking me slightly.

"Babe, don't think like that!" Louis takes my face in his hands and makes me look at him. His beautiful sea-blue eyes swim with emotion, and I gradually loose myself in them. He pulls me into his arms, cradling me and whispering "shhh" until I eventually calm down. Harry plays with my hair and kisses my forehead before standing up.

"I hope you don't mind; you were taking too long, so I… I went and packed your bag. Don't be mad." He blushes.

"I'm not; it's fine." I get up and take my tote bag (_from 1D's website… embarrassing…_) out of his hand.

"I think we should go." Louis stands up and stretches, and I quickly avert my eyes… after a quick peek. I check that I have enough clothes and toiletries to last a few days, and quickly grab a few things from the bathroom.

"Okay, now we can go." I pick up a picture of my mother and slide it into my bag. Then I lead the boys out of the door, and as I lock it I whisper "Bye, mum." before turning and sliding into the backseat so I can be alone. As we drive away Harry and Louis start a heated conversation in the front seat, and I take the picture out of my bag.

"Night, Mum." I whisper, tears trickling down my cheeks and splashing onto the picture. "Sweet dreams."


	5. Things Are Getting Strange

_**What do you think so far? Louis and JJ are getting pretty close, eh? And then adding Harry into the mix too? ;D hope you like it so far (: sorry about all the spelling and grammar mistakes last time; I was trying to get it uploaded so fast that I didn't proof read it properly :L sorry! I hope this chapter's more grammatically correct XD**_

_**Please keep reading, and please review :D**_

Chapter 5: Things Are Getting Strange…

"Oh Jordan, honey, come here." Harry's mum pulls me into a hug as soon as I walk through the door. "You can stay here as long as you want, and anything you need help with; money, funeral arrangements etc. just ask, okay?" I nod silently and she lets me go.

"Thank you." I fight back tears and Louis squeezes my left hand, still refusing to let go. I have to admit; I do feel a bit better knowing he and Harry are near. I blink rapidly, trying to hold off the tears, and without a word Zayn walks up to me and wraps his arms around me. Niall stands behind me, leans on my shoulders and whispers "hope you're okay" into my ear, and Liam snakes his arm around my waist and says "I'm so sorry." Before I have chance to say anything I'm surrounded by One Direction, all hugging me and telling me that everything's going to be okay. Louis squeezes my hand again, and when Harry touches my cheek with a sad smile on his face I realise that I'm crying. I bury my head in Zayn's chest and sob harder.

"Okay guys, this is really nice and all, but I think we're crushing Jordan!" Liam says after a while.

"No, this is nice." I say, eventually controlling myself. I laugh at Zayn, who's pulling faces at the wet patch on his chest that my tears have formed. "Sorry Zayn."

"Don't worry!" He smiles at me. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Yeah." I nod and smile.

"Good." Niall says from behind me. I look around at the boys and their warm, genuine smiles and I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Louis notices my bottom lip quivering and shoos everyone away. The boys give me one last hug and leave me alone with Harry and Louis… again.

"Well, as I see it, you have three choices." Harry looks down at me and grabs hold of my right hand… again. "One: you can sleep on the couch, which I'm not a fan of. Two: take my room and I'll sleep on the couch. Or three: share with me."

"There is another option." Louis says strangely, like there's more he wants to say, but he doesn't think he should say it.

"What; share the "flat" with you guys?" Harry laughs and raises an eyebrow, and I hear the quotations in his voice.

"Yeah. Problem?" Louis jokes, but I sense that there's more to it. I'm confused; what's going on between those two?

"Nope, no problem at all." Harry holds up his hands in defence. "It's up to Jordan."

"I have an idea. I'll stay here a few days if that's okay?" I look up at Harry, who nods. "And I'll swap between sharing with Harry and bunking with you guys. Is that okay?" Harry agrees, but Louis shakes his head.

"It's not about us, Jordan; just do what you wanna do." He touches my cheek, and I'm really confused; what's going on between us three? I take his hand off of my cheek and entwine my fingers with his.

"Don't be silly; I want to! It'll be fun! But I'm so not in the mood for you guys tonight," I grin so he knows I'm not being mean, "so I'll stay in Harry's room."

"Okay." Louis nods, but he has a strange look in his eyes.

"Cool." Harry's smile is almost… smug? What the hell?

"Well, it's getting late, so I'm going to go to bed. Night, guys." I lean in to kiss Louis cheek but he moves slightly, so I end up kissing the corner of his mouth. Hoping Harry didn't notice, I turn and kiss his cheek as well. "Thank you both; I don't know what I'd have done without you today- no matter how corny that sounds." I turn and head wearily up the stairs.

"Night." they both shout afer me, and I smile.

**Later…**

I sit on Harry's bed in my pj's and smile, reminiscing about all the times me and Harry have spent in here (not like THAT) since we became best friends 14 years ago. I really do love Harry; he's the first boy I ever fell in love with, and I will always love him, but I don't think things will never be the same again.

I look at my watch; 10.05pm. I'm too awake now to go to sleep, but I really don't want to face Harry and Louis again. I really don't know what's going on…. Unless… A sudden thought strikes me; what if they both…?

"Can I come in?" someone interrupts my train of thought by knocking on the door.

"Hang on!" I grab my dressing gown (I can't believe Harry actually remembered to pack that for me…) and put it on, covering up my skimpy top and lack of bra. "Okay, come in." I perch on the edge of the bed.

"Thanks." Zayn walks into the room, not closing the door properly, and sits on the bed. He slides back against the wall and pats the space next to him. "Come and join me."

"Okay." I slide back and sit next to him, leaving a little gap between us.

"How are you?" he asks me. I sigh lightly, already sick of this question. _I just want this day to end._

"M'alright, I guess. I'm keeping it together, if that's what you mean."

"Good." He smiles sadly, and I bring my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them, closing myself in.

"I'm sorry. I know this is the first time we've met, and I've already cried on you all and that…" I trail off and rest my chin on my knees. "Sorry…"

"Don't apologise." He frowns slightly.

"Zayn… can I ask you a question?" I glance up at him and he looks at me weirdly.

"Sure…" he says, obviously afraid of what I'm going to ask.

"Why are you all being so nice to me? Not that I expected you to be mean or anything, but you guys have hardly spoken to me before, and now you're all treating me like a sister. Don't get me wrong, I'm really grateful, and I love you guys for it, but we've only known each other properly for a day, so…" I smile at him so he doesn't get offended or anything.

"Um…" he blushes and avoids my eyes. "You're a really nice girl…"

"Aw thanks… that's not it." I glare at him suspiciously, and he laughs nervously.

"Well, Harry's talked about you a lot, and we know you're important to him" he quickly avoids my gaze again, "so we made an effort, and then we met you, and you're so nice, and kind, and funny, so we liked you straight away. And then bad things happened and you needed comfort and friends so much, and…" He clearly babbles when he's nervous.

"Zayn?" I place my hand on his arm and smile at him, trying to hide my sudden feeling of dread. "What is it?"

"Harry's still in love with you." Zayn instantly covers his mouth, immediately regretting saying anything.

"Well." Harry says from the doorway. "That saves me telling you."


	6. Oh Dear Lord

_**Wow, quite a cliff hanger, huh? ;D hope you like this next one **_  
><em><strong>Please keep reading, and PLEASE PLEASE review <strong>_

Chapter 6: Oh Dear Lord

"Oh my Christ…" I sit here, unsure of what to say. _Oh crap._

"Oh God… I'm so sorry, Harry." Zayn jumps up off of the bed and strides over to Harry. "Oh, man, I didn't mean…"

"It's okay." Harry takes a deep breath and places his hands on Zayn's tense shoulders, all the while completely avoiding my eyes. "I was coming in to tell her anyway."

"Oh, man, I'm such a bad friend…" Zayn dips his head in shame, and I feel awful.

"No, you're not. I forgive you. Like I said, I was about to tell her anyway."

"Um, 'her' is still in the room, y'know?" I slide off of the bed and stand in front of Zayn. "Don't worry about it." I hug him and quietly tell him he should leave. He nods, squeezes me one last time, claps Harry on the back and leaves. I lie on the bed on my front and bury my head, whispering "what am I going to do?"

"Well," Harry says, and I feel the bed dip next to me, "you have 3 choices. Tell me you love me, tell me you don't, or…"

"Or what?" I say dubiously, sitting up and looking at him. The shine of hope in his eyes stuns me.

"Kiss me and go from there." Harry smiles cheekily, and then leans in and presses his soft lips to mine. Unfortunately, I go with my instinct and kiss him back. His hands slip round my waist and he pushes me back onto the bed. I slide my hands up his chest and grip his shoulders like I never want to let go. _Wait, WHAT? WHAT AM I DOING?_

"Harry, no, we can't…." I murmur against his lips. He ignores me and deepens the kiss, exploring my mouth with his tongue. "Harry, no!" I say more firmly, and I push him off of me. I slide out from underneath him and sit next to him.

"Jordan, I'm so sorry. I should never have ended it. I…" I put my hands over his mouth, afraid of the next two words.

"Don't. Please, just don't." I shake my head furiously. He takes my hands from his mouth and laces his fingers with mine.

"I love you, JJ. No, scratch that; I'm in love with you. I have been since we were 11, and it took me so long to tell you. Then we were together, and things got tough, and I panicked. I made a bad choice, but I know now that I really do love you." His blue-green eyes sparkle with emotion, and I take a deep breath.

"I love you too, Harry." I kiss him lightly on the lips.

"So…"

"Harry, shush. I do love you… but it's not enough. We can't do this; look what happened last time! You were right; we are better off as friends." I pull my hands from his and turn away.

"JJ…" He stops. "It's Louis, isn't it? You love him, don't you?"

"What?" I whip round and face him. "Don't you dare; do NOT make this into something that it's not. This isn't about him, it's about us."

"What do you mean, "don't make this something it's not"?" He stands up and looks down at me angrily. "I love you, you love me, and you still don't wanna be with me! It's got to be something else!"

"Yeah, maybe I just don't wanna waste my energy on loving you when it's just going to fall apart again!" I jump up.

"Oh, don't be so melodramatic! We're in love! Isn't that enough for you?" He reaches for me, but I step back.

"Don't take the piss! I'm not being melodramatic! I just don't think it'll work!" I shove his shoulder.

"Don't shove me! And that's hardly an excuse! I love you! Don't you get it? Aren't you listening?"

"I am bloody listening!" I pick up the pillow and hit him with it. "You're not listening to me!"

"Calm down, will you?" He yanks the pillow out of my hands and throws it behind him.

"Don't tell me what to do!" I go to hit him, and he catches my fist.

"Don't you fucking dare!" He pushes me away from him. I reach behind me, searching for something to throw.

"Fuck you!" I pick up his alarm clock and throw it at him, but purposely miss. He walks over to me and grabs my wrists.

"Stop it! Christ, Jordan!" Harry takes hold of both my cheeks, forcing me to look into his eyes. "What's your problem?"

"YOU! You tell me you love me and, what? I'm supposed to fall down at your knees? Is that what you thought?"

"Yeah, that's kind of what I thought. Shame I got this instead."

"Oh yeah, 'cause now you're in a band you're so fucking irresistible!" I pull away from him and kick him in the shin.

"You bitch!" He pulls back and slaps me round the face. The force of it sends me backwards, and he grabs his leg in pain.

"What the bloody hell is going on in here?" Louis and Liam run in and then stop, taking in the scene before them.

"You fucking bastard." I stand up and go to punch Harry in the face, still covering my lip with my left hand. Liam grabs my wrist and twists my arm behind me, trying not to hurt me, and Louis pushes Harry onto the bed and sits next to him.

"Okay, are you gonna be calm?" Liam asks me. I nod and he brings my arm back round, but keeps a tight grip on my wrist.

"What's going on?" Louis repeats. I shake my head, and Harry looks down in shame. Liam pulls my hand away from my lip and everyone gasps.

"Shit; you're bleeding, Jordan!" He leads me to the bed. "Louis, go grab a wet flannel or something, please." Louis gets up and leaves the room, and Liam sits between Harry and me.

I don't feel any pain; not in my lip, anyway. What's worse is that this isn't the first time this kind of thing has happened. We used to get in fights all the time, but they hardly ever ended up in one of us getting hurt. The only time we've ever gone for each other was when we broke up; Harry slapped me and split my lip (_much like right now_), because I kicked him so hard in the balls that he could have prosecuted me if he wanted to _(in my defence, he told me I was being stupid and tried to push me... That didn't go down so well…)_. We stayed away from each other for a while after that…

I feel so awful; Harry's SO not a violent person. In fact, he's probably the pacifist out of the group; it's seems to be me, almost like I flip a switch in him. This is one of the reasons I don't want us to be together. _This is so bad… so, so bad…_

Louis walks back into the room and sits on my other side. He presses the cloth to my lip slightly harder than necessary and I wince in pain. I can't take my eyes off of Harry; _what have we done?_

"Thank you, guys." I finally turn to Louis, whose sparkly blue eyes are filled with deep concern.

"What the hell happened?" He strokes my cheek, and I see the pain in Harry's eyes. I pull away from Louis and sigh.

"We got in an argument. I hit him with a pillow. It developed from there." I take the cloth from Louis and hold it to my lip. "You guys need to go now. Harry and I need to talk." Louis instantly shakes his head. "Please, Louis; we'll be fine."

"Okay, but Liam and I will be just outside." Louis kisses my forehead, claps Harry on the shoulder, and then walks out of the room. Liam whispers "see ya" to us both, smiles sadly and then leaves. I slide over to Harry, and we just look at each other for a while. No words are necessary; we can see in the other one's eyes how sorry we are. He places his hand on my cheek and looks into my eyes, as if he's observing my soul. I feel tears spill over my cheeks, but we just sit here. I wish we could just be together and live happily ever after, but it's not going to happen. I can feel my heart breaking.

"I…" Harry starts to speak, but I shush him.

"No, let me speak. I love you, Harry Edward Styles, but this isn't going to work. This is what happens when things go wrong; we end up fighting, and I don't want that. I don't want to spend half the time so in love with you that I can't feel anything and then the other half wanting to physically hurt you." I laugh slightly, and more tears fall down my cheeks. Harry tries to wipe them away, but I pull his hands away and hold them in my lap. "I want to be your best friend, I want to stay in your life, but right now, we need space." I kiss him on the lips for last time, and before he can say anything, I gather my stuff and walk out. I shakily walk to the family room and slam the door. Then I curl up on the couch, bury my head under the spare duvet and cry myself to sleep.


	7. The Morning After The Night Before

_**So, what did you think of the last chapter? Bit explosive, eh? Please review! **_

_**May take a bit longer between chapters because I have lots of crappy homework at the moment, but I will upload whenever I can :D please keep reading, and please REVIEW REVIEW REIVIEW REVIEW!**_

Chapter 7- The Morning After The Night Before

I jerk awake, completely confused and disorientated. Then the memories of last night collapse on me, and I curl into the couch full of shame and guilt, wanting to never get up.

"So you're finally awake then?" comes a voice from somewhere behind me.

"No. Sorry. Come back later." Louis chuckles, and I turn and look at him; he's sat on the floor watching T.V. _Rude much?_

"Oh my…" He catches sight of me and gasps at my lip. A sudden wave of pain washes over me and I wince.

"Is it that bad?" I yawn painfully and sit up, pulling the duvet with me so I stay covered.

"Urm, just a bit…" He reaches up to touch my lip.

"Piss off!" I flick him playfully, and he flinches away. Fabulous; he's scared of me.

"So, were you planning on getting up anytime soon?" He laughs, covering up the awkward moment.

"Maybe. Is everyone else up?"

"Yeah, it's midday! Even Harry's up!" I wince slightly at his name.

"Is he okay? How's his leg? Has he said anything."  
>"Yes, his leg is bruised and quite painful but he'll be fine, and, uh, no…" He tries to hold my gaze and fails.<p>

"What did he say?" I sigh.

"Nothing, really… just that he regrets last night and to tell him when you're up so he can, um, go and hide."

"Great." My eyes fill with tears, but I ignore them.

"Sorry babe." Louis looks at me, his eyes flashing with guilt and concern." Um, he's in the kitchen, so…"  
>"Okay, I'll get dressed and go talk to him. Just don't tell him, and for God's sake don't let him out of the house, please?"<p>

"Okay." Louis gets up and kisses my cheek and then leaves to give me some privacy. I grab my stuff, put my dressing gown on, and then I make a mad dash to the bathroom. Luckily no one's in here, so I lock myself in. I turn the shower on, and then turn to the mirror. _Holy mother of God…_ I think to myself. _No wonder Louis reacted like that…_

My lip is twice the size it should be, and there's a slit on the right corner. It's an angry purple colour, and I wonder how I've been able to talk. I guess I was so focussed on Harry that I didn't register how much pain I'm in.

I have a quick, hot shower, and when I get out I feel relaxed, refreshed and ready to face everyone. I get dressed and leave my t-shirt till last, remembering how much effort it was to not catch my lip when I took my pyjama top off. I slowly slide my arms in and then carefully pull it over my head.

"SHIT!" I scream, hitting my lip with my hand in my effort to… well… not hit my lip.

"Are you okay in there?" comes a familiar Irish voice from the other side of the bathroom door. I pull my shirt down and then I unlock the door. Niall pushes it open and I cover my mouth with my hand.

"Yep, fine thanks." I say from behind my hand, the pain in my lip now impairing my speech.

"No you're not." Niall smiles reassuringly and then he grabs my hand and pulls me closer. "Let me have a look."  
>"Nope, I'm fine." I shake my head, and he nods. I relax slightly, and he abruptly yanks my hand from my mouth.<p>

"Jesus!" I start to turn away, but he grips my shoulders with both hands and keeps me rooted.

"I just hit it when I was putting my shirt on…"

"I gathered." He grimaces. I feel something warm trickling down my chin, and when I tentatively touch my lip I find blood.

"Fuck." My mouth rapidly fills with blood, and I pull away and spit it into the sink. Niall runs the cold tap, sticks my flannel underneath, and then folds it into a perfect square.

"This is gonna hurt." I nod and close my eyes. Niall takes my hand, and then presses the cold flannel firmly to my lips, stemming the blood flow and trying to reduce the swelling. I squeeze his hand tightly and hold back a scream.

"Okay, maybe you should go to the hospital and get stitches or something…?" he says. I move the flannel so I can speak.

"Nah, it's not that bad. I'll be fine." I squeeze his hand and then shakily press the flannel back to my lip. "Thanks."  
>"No prob. You gonna be okay?"<p>

"Yeah." He hugs me and then walks out. I gather my stuff with one hand, still holding the flannel to my now throbbing lip with the other hand, and then I make my way back to the family room. I hide my stuff behind the chair, tidy up as best I can with one hand, and then take a deep breath.

"Okay." I say to myself, slowly walking to the kitchen and stopping in front of the door. "Here goes." I open the door and find all of the boys sat around the table eating their lunch except for Harry, who is cleaning up. I stand in the doorway, unsure of what to do, and then Liam looks up.

"Hey." He waves at me, raising an eyebrow at the bright green flannel that's still pressed to my lip. All of the boys at the table look up, but I'm completely focussed on Harry, who's trying not to notice me. I watch him limping around the kitchen and a wave of irrepressible guilt washes over me. _I feel like a right bitch._

Harry feels my eyes on him and slowly looks up at me. When he catches sight of the flannel pressed to my lip, he winces. Then we catch each other's eyes and all our problems melt away into nothingness; we're best friends, and we shouldn't be acting like this. He puts down the plate and tea towel in his hands and holds out his arms to me. I hesitate for a split second before running into his arms and burying myself in his warm embrace. Tears slide down my cheeks, and Harry kisses my forehead.

"Let's never do that again, yeah?" he whispers softly into my ear. I nod, still unable to speak. He squeezes me tight, careful not to bash my lip, and I snuggle closer, not wanting to let go. _Oh God, did I make the right decision last night? Or do I really belong with Harry?_


	8. Confused

_**Hey peeps (: sorry it's been longer between chapters; I've had lots of coursework and other shite to do D: hope you like it, and REVIEW! :D**_

Chapter 8- Confused…

In Harry's arms feels like home, and I start to regret last night. _Should I be with him, or not?_ _I love him, but… _I snuggle further into the embrace, pushing away those feelings for now, and I feel like everything is right in the world. Then I look over at Louis, who smiles briefly before looking away like he can't stand to watch. _Fabulous._

"I'm sorry, JJ. You're my best friend, and I don't wanna lose you." Harry kisses my forehead and then lets me go. I sit down at the dining table between Louis and Niall and clasp my hands on the table. Then I take a deep breath and breech the subject I've been avoiding all weekend.

"Guys, I know that we haven't known each other for very long, but I feel like you're all my closest friends already, and I really need your help with something; my mum's... funeral." The word makes me feel sick to my core. I take a deep breath and carry on. "I just want it out of the way, and I want it to be worthy of the amazing person that she is… was. Harry, I'm going to ask your mum to help because she said she would, and I'm so not old enough and mature enough for this. I just… I need all of you to help me, because I can't do this on my own." My voice breaks on the last words. I try to sound calm and collected, but it's becoming impossible. I've only just turned 18, for God's sake; I shouldn't have to deal with this! I take a deep, calming breath but it has no effect, and my eyes sting with impending tears.

"Jordan, we are your friends!" Liam smiles at me and places his hands on mine.

"Yeah, you need us, we're here." Zayn winks at me and places his hands on mine and Liam's.

"What he said." Niall smiles and places one of his hands on top of the growing pile.

"Yeah; whatever you need we'll be here." Louis cups my cheek and smiles sadly, and then places his hand on all of ours.

"Anything." Harry looks at me from across the table, his eyes burning with undisguised emotions. Then he adds his hands to the pile. I look down at the pile of hands covering mine, and then at all the smiling faces around me, and I have never felt more loved than in this moment, right here, right now. My tears threaten to spill, and when Niall smiles at me reassuringly and kisses my cheek, they tumble down my cheeks at an alarming rate. _All I've done this weekend is cry…_

"Aw, babe!" Everyone draws their hands away, and Louis wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead, laughing softly at my emotional state. Niall rubs my back soothingly, and I chuckle softly; _what a bunch of touchy-feely guys!_

"What's going on?" Harry's mum walks in, laden with shopping bags. Zayn instantly jumps up and takes some of them from her. "Thank you, dear. There's more in the car."

"We'll go." Liam hits Niall on the arm nods his head towards the door. As Liam leaves Niall gives my shoulder a soft, reassuring squeeze before following him out. Harry takes Niall's place and grasps my hand under the table.

"Okay, what's wrong honey?" She sits opposite me, and I nudge Harry, who explains what I was just saying.

"Well." she says when Harry's finished. "Of course I will help you. Maybe today is a little too soon, but when you come home from college tomorrow, if you are able to go, we'll sort it out." She smiles at me, reminding me of my mum, and I bury my head in Louis chest and try to control myself. He tightens his arms around me and kisses my hair.

When I finally calm down I look up to see the rest of the boys helping Harry's mum put the shopping away. I slowly detach myself from Louis, who looks at me with concern. _Probably thinks I'm going to start crying again… _He starts to say something, but I put my finger on his lips and shake my head. I say thank you to him, and then I quietly leave, hoping no-one will notice. I go in the family room and gather up my stuff, and I turn to leave, only to find Louis stood behind me with his hands on his hips. The moment is so comical that I giggle, but he glares and I shut up.

"Where are you going?" He asks. _So much for a quick escape…_

"Home…" As soon as I say the word I instantly feel alone. My shoulders sag and I look down at my toes.

"Is that a good idea?" He says more gently.

"Probably not, but I'm going anyway." I try to push past him but it's like pushing brick wall. _Man, he's stronger than he looks…_

"C'mon Jordan, you know that's not a good idea. Stay here, please."

"But all my college stuff is at home, and I need new clothes and… And I wanna go home." I pout.

"Okay, but you still don't wanna be alone, do you? And how're you gonna get there?" He susses me out straight away.

"Okay, maybe I didn't think that far." I sigh heavily. "Will you… Can you come with me? Please?"

"Um…" Louis hesitates, not expecting that. "Yeah, sure, if you want. Shall I go get some stuff, or...?"

"Well, unless you wanna sleep naked?" _Mmmhh, mental images… STOP! _Louis laughs and I blush.

"Ahaa, fun as that sounds… I'll go get some stuff now, but you have to go and explain to everyone what is going on."

"Okay then." I nod, dump my stuff on the sofa and walk out before I embarrass myself further. I explain to everyone in the kitchen what's going on, and they all seem kind of concerned… probably because Louis' coming with me…  
>"Look." I say to Harry for the hundredth time. "I will be fine, Louis will sleep in a different room and make sure I'm okay, and one of you can drive me to college tomorrow if you're worried. I'll be fine, honest. I don't get why you're getting so worked up about it." Harry raises his eyebrow at me and the boys all find something else to do.<p>

"JJ, don't you remember last night?" Harry is concerned, and now I'm confused. _What the hell?_

"Urm, obviously not…" Harry studies me, and I get self-conscious. "What?"

"You woke us up last night, screaming and crying, and Louis and I had to talk you down, and in the end we all had to sing you to sleep because you were so afraid. Louis and I took turns watching you, and you were fine, but…" He grasps my hands tightly and shudders. "Apart from seeing your mum yesterday, it was the worst thing I've ever seen."

"Oh God." The memories come flooding back, and I almost die of embarrassment. _So that was why Louis was there this morning! And no wonder everyone has been walking on eggshells around me; I must have been a wreck!_

"You were hysterical; if we'd have left you, you probably would have made yourself sick, and I don't want you to be alone if that happens again. No; I don't want to be away from you if that happens again." Harry looks down at me, visibly upset.

"I'll have Louis, okay?" I reach up (well, I don't have to reach very far; he's not that much taller than me!) and touch his cheek. "And if it happens really badly, you're only 5 minutes away, okay?"

"Okay." Harry sighs, clearly unhappy. I chuckle and kiss him on the cheek, and Louis walks in and gestures for us to leave. I say goodbye, hug and thank everyone, grab my stuff and get into Louis' little orange campervan. I wave goodbye to everyone, and as I catch Harry's eyes as we leave I feel a sense of overwhelming loneliness.


	9. Flirtationship

**So, what did you think of the last one? Wasn't much drama or anything, just a bit of a fill-in chapter (: people have been telling me who they want JJ to choose: please review and tell me (:**

Chapter 9- Flirtationship

"That is so not true!" I playfully throw a handful of popcorn at Louis. "Saw 7 is so not that bad! The bit where the girl gets sawed in half is so fake!"

"Yeah… but it is! It's so gory!" Louis peeks out from behind a cushion and throws popcorn back at me.

"You're such a wimp! I can't stand blood and gore, but I think the Saw films are so good!"

"Yeah, well, you're strange!"

"Yeah, well, you have a bad dress sense!" I laugh. Louis gasps theatrically and pinches my side. He hits the spot where I'm most ticklish and I squeal.

"What the hell was that? Are you ticklish?"

"Noooooooo…." I pull away from him, but it's too late. He pushes me down on to the sofa and leans over me, tickling me until I can't breathe. "Get off! Get off!"

"Take it back! Take it back!" He carries on tickling me, also getting out of breath from laughing.

"NEVER!" I grab a handful of popcorn from behind me and throw it at him. He dodges and carries on tickling me.

"Take it back!" He pauses, and when I start to shake my head he tickles me again.

"Okay, okay, I take it back! You are the most fashionable person I know. Good enough for you?" I sag into the sofa, trying to catch my breath. Louis laughs and flicks his hair out of his face, and when he looks down at me I tremble inside. Never have I ever wanted to kiss someone so badly in my life. _Wait, what? _Louis notices my change in expression and gets up, pulling me with him.

"Time for bed?" he asks. I look up at the clock; 11pm. I'm so shattered, and I have college at 9am tomorrow.

"Yeah." I answer. "You can have my room, and I'll have Mum's room."

"You don't have to. I'll have the couch if you…"

"Shush." I interrupt. "That's how it's gonna be. Don't argue, or I'll make you sleep in your van."  
>"Oooh, scary!" Louis jokes. I jab him in the ribs. "Ow!"<p>

"Shut up then!" I laugh. I run up the stairs and he grabs his stuff and chases me. I get to my mum's door and he grabs me around the waist and pulls me into him. He leans his head on my shoulder and whispers "night, babe." and then kisses me on the cheek and leaves me wondering what life would be like as his girlfriend. _Oops…_

**Later on…**

I jerk awake with the feeling that something isn't right. My thoughts instantly turn to Louis, and I grab my phone to use as a light and slowly slide out of my bed… well, Mum's bed. It still surprises me that I'm not actually that bothered about being in here; of course, I was upset, and when I first came in here I sat on the bed in Louis' arms and cried, but as soon as I embraced the memories rather than fought them, I realised that I don't have to feel like that.

I creep across the landing and slowly push my bedroom door open. Louis is lying (well, more accurately; sprawled) across my bed, and he snores lightly and rolls over. The covers fall off of him and I look away and blush; he's naked!

I go back to my mum's room and shake away my bad feeling. I glance at the time on my phone; 5.30am. _Fabulous… _As I go to get back in bed, I notice something black on my pillow.

"What the actual fuck…?" I whisper. Then it moves. "HOLY SHIT!" There is an effing great spider crawling across my bed!

"Louis!" I holler, running up to my bedroom door and bang on it. "Louis!"

"Okay, what is this fuckery?" Louis answers the door in stripy boxers.

"S… s... spider! On my bed! Help!" I panic. Louis rubs his eyes sleepily.

"Is that it? C'mon Jordan, d'you know what time it is?" He runs his hands through his hair. I start to tear up.

"Please Louis! I'm really afraid!" I grab hold of his hand, and he sighs heavily.

"Okay, but you owe me, okay? And I'm using one of your shoes to kill it!"

"Okay!" I smile shakily and push him toward my mum's room. "Go." He huffs and tiptoes into my room. I watch from the doorway as he grabs one of my shoes and searches for the spider. As he turns to say it's gone, I shriek and point to the window. He sneaks up to the spider and squishes it. I throw some tissue at him and he cleans it up.

"Okay now?" He brushes my hair out of my face and smiles at my wimpy-ness.

"Yeah…" I look around my room, paranoid that there're more spiders.

"Do you want me to stay? Or do you wanna swap rooms?" Louis asks, obviously desperate to go back to sleep.

"Can you stay? Please?" He chuckles, grabs my hand and leads me to the bed. I climb in (after checking for spiders, which Louis finds hilarious) and he climbs in after me. I turn to face the wall, and he curls up behind me and wraps his arm around my waist, and then brings the duvet up over us both.

"Night, you wimp." He laughs softly and kisses my hair.

"Shut up." I huff and secretly smile. "Night." He tightens his arm around me and I fall asleep, safe in his arms.

**In the morning…**

I jerk awake, this time through being shaken rather than random bad feelings.

"Jordan, get up! It's 8.30! You're gonna be late!" Louis is leaning over me, still just in his boxers.

"Holy shite!" I jump up and push the duvet off. Then I grab some clothes from the other room and run into the bathroom. As I'm getting changed, Louis bangs on the door.

"Bloody hurry up! You'll be late."

"All right, all right." I twist my hair into a bun, check my make-up and then open the door. Louis just stares at me.

"What? Have I got toothpaste on my chin?" I wipe my chin frantically.

"No, no, no." He smiles at me, embarrassed, and shuffles his feet. "You… you look nice."

"Aw, thanks." I smile. "Fancy giving me a lift?"

"Sure. Let's go." Louis grabs his keys and runs down the stairs. I leg it and trip right at the bottom, and land in Louis' arms. He chuckles, and I look up into his eyes. _Oh God, I think I'm falling for him…_ There's a knock at the door, and I quickly pull myself out of Louis' arms. I swing the door open and stand in shock.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I spit out angrily. My visitor looks at me with sadness, and I start to shake with anger. He raises and eyebrow and says "Well, that's no way to speak to your Dad."


	10. An Unwanted Visitor

_**Sooooo… what do you think of the last one? REVIEW AND TELL ME! ;D still not sure what to do with the whole 'Louis-JJ-Harry' thing, and I wanna know what you guys think, so review and tell me! Hope you like this one…**_

Chapter 10- An Unwanted Visitor

"I so don't have time for this. I have to go to college." When I secretly prayed earlier for a way out of going to college, this is soooooooooo not what I meant…

"C'mon, Jordan, I haven't seen you in 2 years. I just want to talk." He reaches for me but I step back and grab Louis.

"Yeah, and whose fault is that?" I shake my head. "I don't want you here, okay? Please leave."  
>"Please, Jordy, just give me a chance." He uses his old nickname for me, hoping to soften me. It has the opposite effect.<p>

"Don't. Call. Me. That. You lost all right to call me that when you beat the shit out of my mum in front of me." My Dad winces and Louis gasps softly. He rubs my arm reassuringly, but I grasp his hand for support.

"I'm so sorry, Jordan. And I've told your mum that before, and she accepted. I was drunk at the time, but I know that's not a good enough excuse, which is why I agreed to the divorce. Is she here? Does she know I'm out yet? How is she?" He seems genuinely concerned when I don't answer, and my eyes fill with tears; no matter how much I've grown to hate this man, he's still my Dad, and telling him this is the hardest thing I'll ever have to do. _I don't know what to say…_

"She… um, she…" I stop, unable to say it. Louis looks into my eyes, silently asking me a question, and I nod.

"Urm, sir, I'm Louis, Harry's best mate." He holds out his hand, and Dad shakes it. "There's something you ought to know. Maybe you should sit down." I point to the garden chairs down the side of the house and Louis brings them over. He and Dad sink into their chairs, but I stand behind Louis, too fidgety to sit down. Louis goes to pull me onto his lap, remembers it's my Dad we're talking to, and settles for holding my hand instead.

"Okay, what's going on?" Dad starts to look worried. I take a deep breath, but when I try to speak the words fail me.

"Sir," Louis says, stepping in for me. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but Mrs Jones was involved in a car crash on Saturday and… and she didn't make it." Dad looks at us like we're making a sick joke, but then it actually sinks in, and the colour in his face disappears at an alarming rate.

"Oh God." He puts his head in his hands and starts to cry, and a sudden realisation hits me; he loved my mum, and he never stopped loving my mum. It doesn't change what he did, but I feel myself softening. I start to speak, but I hear my phone ring. Louis chuckles slightly; I finally changed my ringtone, but to "Na Na Na" instead. I walk away and answer it.

"Hello?"

"_**Oi, you! Where the hell are you?" **_

"Nice to speak to you too, Chloe. I'm at home." I dart in the house, grab some tissues, and hand them to my Dad.

"_**Yeah, I gathered that. What I meant is; why aren't you here to endure the boring English Lit lecture with me?"**_

"Urm… I'm not going to be in today, Clo; sorry. Can I copy your notes?"

"_**I guess. You'd better have a good reason!" **_I wince slightly. She's gonna kill me when she finds out I haven't told her anything.

"I do, I promise. Can you come round straight after with your notes? I'll explain everything then."

"_**Okay but only because you're my twin. I can sense that some serious shit is going down; are you okay?"**_

"No, not really." I sigh into the phone. There's no point lying to her; she knows me too well. "See you later?"

"_**Okay then. Bye." **_She hangs up and I turn to Louis, who flashes his eyes at me as if to say "help!"

"I'm so sorry about that. Are you okay?" I turn to my dad, who's shaking his head in denial.

"Jordan, I've just been told that the mother of my child is dead. How do you think I'm feeling?"

"Well I'm very sorry, it's not like she was my mum or anything, is it? It's not like I was the one that the cops came to tell, is it? Or that I was the one who had to go to see the body? Well, in the end Harry did, but that's not the point. I'm the one that had to put the pieces back together when you destroyed her! I'm the one that has to organise her funeral! I'm 18; I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH ANY OF THIS!" All my feelings come out in a rush, and I shake with rage and various other emotions. Louis grabs hold of my hand but I pull away.

"Just leave." I say to my 'Dad'.

"No." He stands up. "We need to talk."

"No, we don't. Leave. Now. Or I'll call the police." I gesture in the direction of the road.

"Fine. But I'm coming back soon, and we're going to talk." He reaches for me again and I grab Louis, who stands in front of me. Dad's eyes flash with anger, and then he realises he's just making things worse, so he turns and hurries away. As soon as he's out of sight I collapse to my knees and sob heavily. Louis wraps his arms around me and kisses my hair.

"I can't believe he's here." I repeat it over and over again, rocking back and forth like I'm insane. Louis rocks with me and tries to calm me down. When I manage to stop, I look up at Louis and grimace. "I'm so sorry for this, I…"  
>"Shut up." Louis plants a kiss on my forehead and shakes his head. "It's okay."<br>"No, it's not! I've known you for 2 days, and all I've done is cry on you!" I pull away from him and take his face in my hands. "Why are you putting up with me?"

"Because you're my friend." He says uneasily. _Oh God, now I've started I can't stop…_

"It's more than that, isn't it?" He tries to look away but I force him to look at me. "Lou?"

"Did you just call me 'Lou'?" He smiles, changing the subject.

"Well, yeah. That okay? Or would you rather I called you Hughey, or Chop Suey?" I laugh, recalling the interview I'd watched a few months ago.

"Oh, God, you watched the Sugarscape interview, didn't you?" he groans playfully.

"Maybe…" I laugh. "I shall start calling Niall 'Nail File'. What was wrong with him on that video? Did you give him drugs or something before?"

"No, he was just over tired. Or hyper." He grins. I notice something on the floor, and I pick it up.

"Is that your Dad's wallet?" Louis asks. I nod, and start to open it. "Whoa, what are you doing?"

"Not stealing his money, if that's what you think! He just got out of prison, anyway; he won't have anything in here." I open it curiously and find… nothing. No picture of me, or my mum, or anything. "There's nothing."

"Like you said, he just got out of prison. Maybe it's new." Louis takes it from me. "C'mon, let's go."

"Go where?" He pulls me to my feet, takes my stuff from me and dumps it inside and then steals my keys so he can lock the door.

"Out. I'm taking you to lunch." He chucks my keys at me and I catch them… just.

"What, and get mobbed by screaming girls? No thanks!" I say sarcastically.

"Please?" He smiles sweetly. I just don't want this to feel like a date… _or do I?_

"But Chloe's gonna be here after the lecture, which finishes in an hour." I whine.

"I'll have you back, I promise! I'll take you to Nando's!" He grins.

"Okay, you have me persuaded. But we HAVE to be back here in an hour, okay?"

"Yep." He grins triumphantly and grabs my hand. "To Nando's!" He raises his other arm like superman, and I shake my head.

"You're so strange!" I dart in front of him and race him to the car. He beats me, and leans against the car in the typical pose that every girl dreams about. _Oh my God… _He laughs at my gawping, and I look away.

"After you, milady." He bows theatrically and opens the door for me. I smile and slide into the passenger seat.

"Freak…" I mutter under my breath.

"And proud of it!" Louis laughs, getting into the driver's seat. I laugh at Louis and he abruptly leans in and kisses my cheek, before starting the engine and driving away without a word. I slide further down in to my seat, wondering how the hell my life ended up in such a mess…


	11. Endless Mistakes

_**What did you think of the last chapter? Review and tell me! ;D this one is for my Twin because I love her and I couldn't write my story without putting her into it :D hope you all like this, please review (:**_

Chapter 11- I Need Help…

"Jordan…" Louis reaches for me but I slam the car door in his face. He climbs out and runs towards me, and then stands in front me, forcing me to stop. "Jordan, babe, please…"  
>"I'm not your babe." I try to push him out of the way but he grabs my arms and pins them to my side.<p>

"You're being silly!" He exhales angrily, and then sees the flash of fury in my eyes and realises he's said the wrong thing.

"No, you're being a prick." I jerk my knee towards him, which has the desired affect; he lets go of me to protect himself and I take the opportunity to run away from him. He grabs my wrist and roughly yanks me to face him.

"Stop it. I'm sorry, okay? Just don't do this, please. We were having a good time, weren't we?" he pleads.

"Yeah, until you… ugh, I don't wanna talk about it. Fuck. Off." I try to jerk my wrist from his grip but he holds on tight.

"Jordan, how many times; I'm sorry. No, wait; I'm not! I don't even know what I did!"

"Louis, YOU KISSED ME! IN FRONT OF YOUR FANS, WHO WERE TAKING PICTURES! Think of all the stuff I've just gone through with Harry, and all the stuff I have going on at the moment; the last thing I need is millions of your fans hating me because I'm going out with you, even though I'm not!" I finally say it. He sighs and looks ashamed.

"I didn't mean for it to be like that, Jordan. I'm so sorry! I was just kissing you as a friend, and then you turned, and then people were taking pictures." He takes both of my hands and pleads with me. "It wasn't like that babe, honest!"

"Louis, I know that's not it! There's more, I know it, and we're both afraid of saying it!" I pull away.

"Afraid of saying what, exactly?" He looks into my eyes, daring me to say it.

"Nuh uh, no way; I am not starting this conversation now." I shake my head furiously. _I can't do this…_

"Jordan, this is… Uh, I… Oh Christ." Louis takes a deep breath. "I…"

"OI!" Chloe jumps out from behind the bush and drops her bag by my feet. _What a twat…_

"Hi Chloe." I wrap my arms around her and hug her tight. I only realise now how much I need her.

"Hey dude." She goes to pull away but I hold her close, hiding my tears. "Hey, what's up?"

"She's got a lot on at the moment, that's all." Louis says. Chloe gasps, finally realising that that is Louis Tomlinson.

"Oh my… is that who I think it is?" She whispers in my ear. I pull away from her and laugh slightly.

"Chloe, Louis. Louis, Chloe." I wave at them and they shake hands. Chloe starts fangirling, and I hide a giggle.

"You need to leave. We'll talk later." I say to Louis. He nods, says bye to Chloe, and then gets in his van and leaves.

"Okay Twin, you have some serious explaining to do." Chloe raises her eyebrow. I laugh slightly, and then I burst into tears.

**A few hours later…**

I cry hysterically into Chloe's arms, finally ending my story of the past few days with what happened with Louis.

"Oh God." Chloe sniffs, still reeling from the news about my mum and useless excuse for a Dad.

"I know." I hiccup and pull away from her. "I have spent the whole weekend with those boys; don't get me wrong, I have grown to love them, but I just need to be away from them. Especially Louis."

"Yeah." She shakes her head in amazement and hands me a tissue from her bag. "You have some serious shit going on there. I don't wanna have to be the one to say this, but I've got to; you are stuck in some kind of crazy love triangle."

"What? No…" I shake my head and laugh, but then I think about it. _Louis doesn't love me… we've only known each other for 3 days! Was that what he was going to say when Chloe interrupted? Oh God… _"Oh shit it's true."

"Yep." Chloe nods her head sadly. "But do you know what; we are not going to think about any of that! I knew something was up, so I brought my stuff and some DVDs; what you need is a girl's night in, and by God that's what we're going to do!" She gives me a quick hug before heading for the freezer. She holds up a pot of Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough ice cream and grabs two spoons. "C'mon, let's go." She leads me to the front room, gets out various rom-com DVDs and makes me choose one. Then we sit down, pay practically no attention to the DVD and talk random shit for ages. I finally convince her to let me copy her notes; she resists me for a long time, telling me I'm "ruining the mood with my nerdy-ness", but I win. We finish the pot of ice cream, and when I've finished the notes we move on to alcohol. I try to protest but Chloe presents a pretty good argument; I've had no fun recently, and I just need to let go of all the stress and have a good time.

"Why don't you invite the boys round?" Chloe asks after her second beer. She's no lightweight; she'll have five or six before it affects her, whereas I'm still sipping at my first. I don't drink very often, so I get drunk really easily.

"Not a good idea, Clo." I shake my head dubiously. "Something'll go wrong, I know it."  
>"Okay. I don't wanna meet them while I'm drunk anyway." She smirks. "You know what they say about first impressions."<p>

We laugh, and I down the last of my beer. Chloe hands me another, but I shake my head. She raises her eyebrow, and I smile and grab a bottle of vodka and two shot glasses from my mum's "hiding place".

"She always thought I had no idea where this was." I laugh fondly. Chloe takes the bottle and glasses and pours us both a shot. She counts to three, and then we down it. I nearly choke, and she laughs at me. I then put my middle finger up at her, which just makes her laugh louder. We give up on shots because I'm lightweight and attempt to make cocktails.

"Jordan… Do you love Harry, or Louis? Or do you love them both, like Elena with Damon and Stefan?" Chloe asks me.

"Neither of us is drunk enough for this conversation." I laugh and hand her a cocktail, quoting one of my favourite characters from Vampire Diaries; Alaric Saltzman.

"Well, I hate to make out that you're a whore, but aren't you worried that you're gonna split up the Stylinson bromance?" She's just teasing, but I can hear the serious note in her voice.

"Yeah, I am; in fact, I'm starting to see it now. They don't spend as much time together, and they're not as joined-at-the-hip as they used to be. I just can't see Louis crushing on me after 3 days!" I sip at my drink and Chloe chuckles.

"I think it's a bit more than "crushing" on you, twin." She glances at me, gauging my reaction.

"Yeah… I don't wanna talk about this. Music?" I run over to the stereo and play whatever CD is in there.

_**I let it ride on a bad bet. I doubled down on a sinking ship. **_

_**I need a second to catch my breath. **_

_**Do you want me, or do you want me dead?**_

"I love this song!" Chloe screams, setting down her now empty glass and dragging me into an empty space so we can dance. She starts to sing along, and I can't help but laugh; she's insane.We dance together for a while and drink more, and my thoughts start to become less coherent. After a while I've had so much to drink that I'm not thinking straight. Chloe is passed out on the couch, and I make a bad decision; I reach for my phone, and somehow manage to ring someone I feel I desperately need to speak to.

"_**Hello?"**_ he answers.

"Um… hi. I'm not sure why I'm phoning you. I just feel like I need to. Do you understand?"

"_**No…"**_ he sounds worried and slightly pissed off.

"I just want you to know that I love you. I really do. I can't think about anyone else, and I probably won't remember telling you this, but I just want you to know."  
><em><strong>"Are you drunk?"<strong>_  
>"Maybe…"<p>

"_**Maybe you should just go to bed Jordan."**_

"No. You need to listen, okay?" I pause, attempting to stop myself from puking. "I love you. With all my heart I love you, and I just wanna be with you, but I didn't know how to tell you, so here I am… telling you. You're always there for me, and you're so kind, and gorgeous, and… I know you love me too, and I just… I thought you ought to know. I have to go now. Bye." Hanging up the phone on quite possibly the stupidest phone call I have ever had, I rush to the bathroom and vomit loudly in the toilet. Then I pass out.

**The next morning…**

I wake up one the bathroom floor with a splitting headache. I sit up slowly, groaning at the rising waves of nausea my headache is causing. _What the hell happened? _I think to myself. I rise from the floor and stumble out of the room. I hear nothing from down stairs, and I start to worry about Chloe. As I carefully make my way downstairs, memories from last night flood into my head. _I'm such a douche…_

When I get to the front room Chloe is still asleep on the couch, and the stereo is still on. I turn it off, and notice my phone on the floor. Fighting off the nausea I bend to pick it up.

"Two missed calls?" I say to myself. _Uh oh… one from Harry, and one from Louis. _Then a sudden thought strikes me like a hot iron. "Holy shit; which one of them did I phone last night?"


	12. What A Mess

_**Sorry that I've taken so long to upload but I've been quite busy D: don't know how long it'll be till I upload another, but here's the next one (: please review so I know what you guys think! (:**_

Chapter 12- What A Mess… 

_Oh shit… _An unbearable panic sets in, and my hands start to shake. _What have I done? What have I done? _I look down at Chloe, who's still sleeping peacefully. I know her timetable of by heart, so I know she doesn't have a lecture till 1.30pm (Maths with me), and it's only 10am now. I take her phone, set an alarm on it for 12pm and leave her sleeping. Then I phone the first person that comes into my head (_well…_ _that isn't Louis or Harry_); Niall. I ask him to meet me round the corner from Harry's house in half an hour, then I have a quick shower, get dressed, tie my hair up and leave a note for Chloe. Then I jump in my little, bright green, pile-of-shit Fiesta and drive to meet him.

As I drive round the corner Niall spots me and smiles brightly. Unfortunately, it's more of an amused smile rather than a friendly greeting; he knows about last night. Great. I stop, and as he climbs into the car he starts to say something, but I silence him. I turn the radio on and pull away from the kerb. We drive in silence, and I don't exactly know where we're going, I just know that I need to get away.

I stop at the nearest park, and as I stop the car I realise what's playing on the radio; yep, you guessed it: What Makes You Beautiful. I slam the 'Off' button and sigh bitterly. Niall places his hand on mine and starts to speak, but I shake my head. We check for fans and then get out of the car, and Niall grabs my hand and leads me to a small park bench. It's shadowed by the trees and out of the way of everyone so that we won't be seen. I sink into the bench, and he sits next to me and watches me, waiting for me to speak.

"Oh God. What have I done, Nialler?" I chew my lip anxiously. I lean my head on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around me.

"You're in a right mess, aren't you, babe?" he laughs. I shake my head in bewilderment at my stupidity.

"Niall…" I pull away from him and look into his eyes. "You know who I phoned, don't you?"

"Yeah. It was…" he's interrupted by my ringtone. Louis. _Oh God…. I cannot do this now. No way. _I sigh and press 'reject'.

"Okay, go on." I close my eyes and brace myself. He laughs and takes my hand in his.

"Jordan… It was… Urm, it was Liam that you phoned." My eyes snap open and he laughs loudly.

"WHAT?" I put my head in my hands. "Oh, God…"

"Yeah… He was kind of confused." He laughs and pats my head. "I think you meant to phone Louis or Harry, yeah?"

"Yeah…" I shake my head. "I'm so embarrassed… Liam must think I'm a right douche…"

"To be honest Jordan, it was 1 in the morning and you woke him up, so I don't think he was paying much attention."

"Oh, Christ…" I look up at Niall, and he's trying not to laugh. "I'm such a bad drunk…"

"Yep. I think you need to come home and talk to Harry and Louis though." I hear an underlying note in his voice, and he avoids my eyes.

"What do you mean, Niall?" I glare at him suspiciously.

"I'm not saying anything; you need to sort this out." The way he says it makes me want to hang my head in shame.

"Okay. If I go now, do you promise to take Zayn and Liam out of the house?" Niall nods and I kiss him softly on the cheek. Then I grab his hand and pull him towards the car. Then we get ambushed by fans. Luckily I've dropped his hand by this point, and I don't think they saw me kiss him; the last thing I need right now is a rumour that I'm dating Niall, especially after the stunt Louis pulled yesterday… _I'm still mad at him for that!_ I go and sit in the car, happy to be ignored. Luckily there are only 8 or 9 girls, so Niall has lots of photos taken and signs their t-shirts in a matter of minutes, and we're able to leave pretty quickly.

When we get to Harry's house both Harry and Louis are sitting on the wall outside. They're talking and seem fine, but I know Harry too well; something's up. It has been for a while; I just haven't admitted it to myself. Niall looks at me sheepishly; he obviously texted them and told them we were coming back. _Holy shit…it's now or never, Jordan…_

I park the car at the end of the street, and as we walk towards the house, Louis jumps off of the wall to greet me, and Liam steps out of the front door. He grins at me, and I flush bright red. I walk up to him and apologise for my ridiculous behaviour, and he hugs me and whispers softly in my ear that he only told people that I'd said I loved him, and not all the other stuff I said. I turn crimson again and pull away from him. Then Zayn comes out of the house and kisses my cheek as he passes. He high five's Louis, claps Harry on the shoulder and heads down the street towards the shopping centre with Niall and Liam following; they're giving us privacy like Niall promised. Louis grabs my hand and leads me inside, and Harry follows. They both sit on the sofa in the family room, and I sit in the chair opposite them. _Here goes…_

"I… urm… I guess you heard about last night?" I clasp my hands in my lap and they nod. "Okay, well… uh… I'm sorry; I can't do this." I jump up and run out of the room. Louis calls after me, but Harry tells him that it's no use. I sit at the top of the stairs and hold my head in my hands. The boys start to have a conversation, and I rapidly come to the conclusion that they think I can't hear them.

"This is getting kinda ridiculous, isn't it?" Louis sighs.

"Yeah, it is." Harry says, and I wince at the bitterness in his voice. _This is entirely my fault…_

"I'm sorry, mate; this is mostly my fault. I'm supposed to be your best friend and I… well… I kind of, may have… started to like your ex-girlfriend." I gasp quietly; _it's true!_

"Yeah, you have." Harry says tensely. Then he sighs. "But me and her; we're not like that anymore."

"I know, but still; there's rules about this kind of thing!" Louis jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

"Okay, look, don't make me do this feelings crap again, okay? I will only say this once; I love Jordan, but she's been my best friend since we were 4, and she will always be my best friend, so if she's going to be happy with you, then…" he takes a deep breath. "Then that's fine."

"You're saying it like this is set in stone! She doesn't even know, and I doubt she feels the same way!"  
>"Yeah, well… I don't wanna talk about this anymore, okay?" I hear the sofa squeak as Harry gets up.<p>

"Harry… We're okay, aren't we?" Louis says hesitantly. I hold my breath, waiting for his answer.

"Yeah, Chop Suey; we're fine." I can hear the smile in his voice, and I sigh with relief. Then I hear the floorboards squeak, and I quietly run up to Harry's room. I hear footsteps, and I sit in the middle of Harry's bed and pull my legs up into the foetal position, trying to calm myself after everything I just heard.

"I know you're in here, JJ." Harry says with a smile in his voice. He pushes the door open and sits by me.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I just…" Harry abruptly holds up his hand, and I stop.

"Answer me honestly, Jordan; who did you mean to phone last night?"

"Urm…" I shake my head furiously. "I don't want to say it. It could ruin everything."

"No. Whoever it was, I can take it. So come on; who was it?"

"Well… uh… Harry, it was…" I go with what my instinct is telling me. I take a deep breath, and say the words that my heart is telling me are true. "It was you."

"Wait, what?" Harry says. He exhales in relief. "I honestly thought you were going to say Louis."

"I was. But it doesn't matter." I place my hand on his cheek. "I think about you all the time, and I can only see myself with one other person than you; unfortunately, that person is your best friend, and choosing between you two is proving impossible." I wipe away my tears and unfold myself so I can get up.

"So let me choose for you." Harry leans in and presses his soft lips to mine. A fire starts in my soul, and everything fits into place. He deepens the kiss, and I cling to him like I need him to live. Right now, that's how it feels. He pulls away from me, and I smile at the glint of hope in his eyes. Then reality hits, and I hastily pull away from him.

"Oh… urm… Oh, God…" I jump up off of the bed and head for the door. "Harry, I'm not sure this is a good idea."

"Jordan, stop running from me! I'm not going to hurt you, and I'm not going to let you hurt me either." He rushes up to me, turns me to him, grabs my waist and pulls me into him. "I. Love. You. I mean it, JJ; I love you. I know you love me too, and I'm not taking no for an answer." He kisses me roughly, and I try to catch my breath… _Oh, God._

"Harry… I'm not sure we can make it work!" I sigh. He shakes his head in denial and takes my face in his hands.

"We can, Jordan! We can do it, I know it! Just admit it, okay!" He looks at me in desperation, and I give in to my feelings.

"I love you too, Harry. We can try. But promise me; if it goes wrong again, we have to at least save our friendship, yeah?" His grin fills me with warmth, and he nods. Then he presses me up against the door and kisses me again.

When we eventually come up for air I feel dizzy, and he leans his forehead on mine and runs his hands up and down my side. Then he leans down and whispers in my ear "I'm glad you've seen sense."

"Me too." I whisper, and I kiss him again. Everything feels right, and then my moment of happiness is ruined when Louis' face flashes before my eyes. _Oh, no…_


	13. Jealousy Is An Ugly Thing

_**So, what did you think of the last one? Review and tell me! Sorry it's taking so long to upload, but I have so much shitty coursework to do it is unbelievable D: the end of this chapter is something I've been thinking of doing for a while, and DreamsOfATeenager's last chapter inspired me to go for it :D please REVIEW! :)**_

Chapter 13- Jealousy Is An Ugly Thing

Harry carries on kissing me, but all I can think about is Louis. I have to talk to him…

"Harry?" I start to pull away from him and try to catch my breath. "I… uh…. ought to go talk to Louis." He agrees, but kisses me again, and I allow myself to melt into his comfortable embrace. Then I pull away properly and smooth out my clothes. Harry smiles cheekily, and I'm stunned by how much I want to kiss him again. Then Louis pops into my head again, and I know I need to speak to him before I do anything else. I kiss Harry on the cheek and then go in search of Louis. I catch him just as he's leaving the house.

"Where are you going, Louis?" I ask him quietly. He turns to face me, and I'm stunned by the hurt in his eyes.

"Home." He starts to leave again, and I place my hand on his arm, but he shrugs me off.

"Why? And your flat's in London; that's hours away!" _I'm really confused! Unless… does he know about Harry and I?_

"I just want to be alone, Jordan. Just… piss off, okay?" I gasp at his harshness.

"Louis…" I'm unsure of what to say. Harry comes down the stairs and tells me he's going to meet the guys. He kisses my cheek, hugs Louis, who returns the hug unenthusiastically, and then leaves. I grab Louis arm and attempt to pull him back in the house. He chuckles lightly at my weakness and allows himself to be lead into the kitchen. I make us both a coffee, all the while trying to keep a conversation going. He sits down by the dining table and just stares at his drink.

"What's going on?" I sit down next to him, and he shakes his head. "C'mon, Louis, just talk to me."

"And say what? I heard you guys upstairs; you and Harry are back together, and you're going to live happily ever after, which is wonderful, and life goes back to normal." I'm surprised at the uncharacteristic venom in his voice.

"Okay, I see where this is going." I take a deep breath. "I heard you talking to Harry earlier; you're jealous, aren't you?"

"Oh, does it show?" He rolls his eyes. I'm getting a little annoyed with his sarcasm.

"C'mon, Louis, I know this isn't you…" I try to talk to him but he cuts me off.

"No, you don't. That's the point; I dunno why I'm being like this, because I've only known you properly for about 4 days, and… Ugh, fuck it. I don't wanna talk about this anymore." He rises and starts to walk out, but I stand in front of him.

"Stop it. You are NOT causing an argument so you can get away from this." I put my hands on my hips.

"Get away from what?" He eyes me angrily, daring me to say it.

"The fact that you love me!" I hiss at him. He grabs my cheeks and pierces my eyes with his.

"I. Don't. Love. You!" He says. Then he drops his hands and turns and walks away. I grab his arm and yank him back.

"You do, otherwise you wouldn't be acting like this! And I heard you say it to Harry!"

"No, you heard me say that I like you. That's it, just plain old liking you; nothing more." His eyes burn with the words he's unable to say. I let go of him and clench my fists, fighting the urge to punch him in the side of the head.

"Fine, you keep telling yourself that, because I'm with Harry now, and I love him. If you like me you should have had the balls to tell me before he did. I'm not doing this anymore." I push past him and walk away.

"That's it, walk away. That's all you seem to have done since I met you; whenever things get hard, you walk away."

"What gives you the right to talk to me like that?" I spit out, whipping round to face him.

"Haven't you noticed, Jordan; you can't order me around like you do with everyone else." He smirks.

"Wow. You're childish. Want a round of applause?" I clap sarcastically, and he shakes his head.

"You're a twat. I don't know why I love you, to be honest." As soon as he's said the words he regrets it. I smirk at him.

"Ah, so you admit your feelings then? Well, that's great; too little, too late." I walk out and slam the door. I practically run away from the house, but as I pass Louis' campervan I stop and kick the tyres. I can't help it; I'm an essentially violent person. I get no further than the end of the street when my phone rings; Louis. I answer it, full of sarcastic insults, but I stop in my tracks.

"_**I'm so sorry, Jordan. I'll admit; I'm jealous, and I took it out on you. I don't want to have this conversation on the phone, but I thought if I tried to stop you… well, you'd hit me." **_I laugh lightly, and then I realise how similar Louis and I actually are; we're both dramatic, we both like a good argument, and neither of us can stay mad at someone for very long, so we're always the first to say sorry.

"It's okay, Lou. I forgive you. And I'm sorry too. I guess I'm like a dog with a bone; once I've started I just can't let go." We both laugh, and I realise how stupid we've been. _I've done a lot of stupid things since they got home, haven't I? _I ask myself. Someone taps me on the shoulder, and when I turn around, Louis is there. I hang up the phone and throw myself into his arms. He laughs and squeezes me tight. _We are so ridiculous…._

"Louis…. Just so you know… Erm…" I stop. _I can't say that! _I change what I was going to say at the last second. "We can still be friends, can't we?" He hesitates, and I realise what a stupid question that is. _Just make it worse why don't you…_

"Of course we can." He smiles and kisses my forehead, and then pulls away from me. "C'mon, let's go meet the guys. They're in Costa, hiding from fans." I look at him properly and realise that he's got his hood up, and he pulls out a pair of sunglasses and puts them on. _Good; I sooooooooo do not need to be seen with him right now._ We walk side by side, not touching, but so close that we almost are. I think of Harry and I start dreading meeting him in public; if people recognise him, and then they recognise me from the other day, this stupid love triangle thing might go public! _Oh shite… _

When we get to Costa the place is virtually empty. _I guess no-one knows they're here then… good! _Harry waves at us from a small circular table in the corner of the room, and I make my way over. Louis asks what drink I want, and then goes to get us both the same thing; a Toffee Cooler. I sit down next to Harry, and he grabs my hand and kisses me softly on the lips. The boys smile at us, and I realise that Harry must have told them already. _Well, that saves me an awkward conversation. _Just as everyone moves up so Louis can slide in next to me, someone flicks the back of my head. I turn around to shout at them, and then I see who it is, and I smile broadly.

"Chloe!" Then I look down at my watch. "Oh… Chloe. I missed Maths, didn't I?"

"Yep." She raises her eyebrow at me. "You're very lucky I love you so much, otherwise you SO would not be getting my notes, especially as…" She gestures to Harry's hand gripping mine on the table, and I realise she's mad that I haven't told her. I don't blame her; how's she supposed to know it happened half an hour ago? I mouth "I'll tell you later" at her, and she nods. Then I turn to everyone else and clear my throat.

"Guys, this is my best friend, Chloe. Chloe, I'm sure you know who these people are, but I will introduce you to them anyway, just to be polite." As I say each of their names they smile and wave at Chloe, and she does a better job of controlling her inner fangirl than I ever did. I ask Louis to move up and get the reaction I expect; rather than move up to Niall, he moves up to me, so Chloe ends up squished between them. Let's face it; she's not really bothered! "How did you know I was here, Clo?"

"I didn't. You know I always come here after college." She smiles, and I nod.

The conversation is a little awkward at first, but after a while everyone joins in, and soon Louis is back to making everyone laugh. Harry squeezes my hand, and when I look up at him the flash of desire in his eyes sends shivers all through my body, and I know that he wants nothing more than to be alone with me. I giggle because I feel the same way, and suddenly I feel like I want to leave. We join in the conversation a little more, but I start to lose interest, and all I can think about is Harry's hand in mine. Then Louis moves, and his leg brushes against mine, sending electric shocks all through my body. _Christ, I have to stop acting like this! I LOVE HARRY, NOT LOUIS! _I'm dragged out of my thoughts by Chloe laughing loudly at something Niall's said, and I roll my eyes. I watch her carefully and come to the conclusion that she couldn't be flirting with Niall harder if she tried. She hits him playfully and laughs again, and I hear Harry chuckle; he's watching them too. Then he looks into my eyes, and I'm struck by the desire again, and the… lust? He squeezes my hand tightly and gestures his head towards the door. I nod, and interrupt Chloe and Niall's painfully obvious flirting.

"Clo, I've got a headache, so I'm going to go home again." She grins at me, totally in tune with my thoughts (_as per usual_), but the guys don't suspect anything.

"Okay then. I'll text you later." She winks, passes me her notes, and then turns back to Niall. I laugh quietly, and Harry squeezes my hand again. Then Louis looks up at me, and I realise he knows what I'm thinking too.

"See you later, Lou." I smile as if nothing has happened and hug him lightly. He squeezes me tightly and then pulls away.

"Okay, bye people!" I wave at everyone, and then Harry pulls me out of the café and towards his car. "You drove here?"

"Yep; I'm so lazy." He grins, and drives us home as fast as he legally can. When we get there he picks me up and carries me into the house. I squeal, and he sets me down at the bottom of the stairs and locks the door behind him. My heart's pounding like a jackhammer, and we're both breathing heavily. He grabs hold of my waist and spins me around, and then presses me up against the door and kisses me roughly, so roughly that I'm glad that my lip healed so quickly.

"What about your parents?" I whisper, and he moans as I grind my pelvis against his.

"They've gone to a party; they're not back till tomorrow." He grins cheekily and starts kissing my neck. _Oh my… _He grabs my hand and pulls me up the stairs, pushes his bedroom door open and throws me down on the bed. I giggle, and he straddles me and kisses me intensely. I tear open his shirt and am surprised at the subtle-yet-sexy muscles he's developed since I last saw him like this. We roll over so I'm on top of him, and he lifts my shirt over my head. As he pulls my jeans off, a thought hits me.

"Harry, have you got a… Y'know…" I blush, and he smiles innocently so I have to say it. _I'm such a prude_… "A… condom?" He laughs and pulls one out of his drawer. _Thank God for that… I think I might cry if we have to stop. _I slide off of him and pull his jeans off, and then we stand in front of each other in just our underwear. I chew my lip nervously; it's been so long since we've done this, and I realise just how afraid I am. Then he pulls me intoo his arms and everything just fits into place . _I want to do this._

* * *

><p>Afterwards, we lie next to each other, hand in hand. When our breathing gets back to normal, I face the wall and he curls up behind me, fitting his body to mine. He drapes and arm over my waist and clasps my hand with his and we just talk for a while. I eventually fall asleep in his arms, happy and content.<p>

* * *

><p>A few hours later, I wake up and do something I've always wanted to do; I put Harry's dressing gown on, open the curtains, and stare out at the stars. After a while Harry gets up and slides his arms around my waist. He rests his head on my shoulder, kisses my neck and whispers in my ear "I love you." I smile, and we just stand here for a while, silently watching the stars.<p> 


	14. Young Love

_**Well, the last chapter was…. interesting ;D hope you like where the story is going :) this is just a kind of fill-in chapter, just showing how Harry and JJ's relationship is going, and how it's affecting others. Keep reading and reviewing!**_

Chapter 14-Young Love

I wake up the next morning completely and utterly happy. Harry is snoring lightly with his arm draped over my waist, and I slide out of bed carefully so I don't wake him up. Then I go in search of something to wear. Even when we were just friends I used to stay here all the time, so if I look through all of his drawers I should find… _AHA! _I find a drawer with some of my clothes in, pull out a pair of pyjama shorts, and put them on. I grab one of Harry's old shirts and put it on, and then I kiss him on the forehead and leave him sleeping. I tiptoe out of the room, and just as I'm pulling the door closed Liam appears behind me, and whispers "morning" into my ear.

"Christ!" I cover my mouth with my hand to stop myself from screaming, and he chuckles softly.

"Sorry." He grins. "Have fun yesterday? Lots of fun?" He winks, and I blush. _Oh crap… they heard us. Fabulous._

"You shouldn't eavesdrop Liam. And it's none of your business." I smile sarcastically and slide past him.  
>"Well, if you weren't so loud…" he mutters. "Nice outfit, by the way." He laughs at me again, and I just ignore him and make my way down the stairs. He follows me, and as we walk into the kitchen Niall gets up from the table and runs at me. He wraps his arms around me and hugs me tight. I'm rather surprised, but I don't hesitate to hug him back.<p>

"Morning to you too, Nialler." He pulls away from me and plants a kiss on my cheek. "What was that for?"

"Just happy, that's all." He smiles, sitting back at the table. He pats the seat next to him, and I sit on it.

"He's been like that all morning." Louis says, finding things to do so he doesn't have to look me in the eyes. I sigh softly.

"Shut up, Louis. Jordan… Can I speak to you in a bit?" Niall smiles at me, and I nod. When he thinks I'm not looking, Louis glances over at me and raises his eyebrows at what I'm wearing. I watch his reflection in the window and smile, and he catches me watching and looks away. _Not this again… _I hear the stairs creaking, and I smile like a fool. Harry walks into the room in just his boxers, and as soon as he spots me his face lights up. He walks over to me and kisses my hair, before going and pouring himself a coffee. He says hi to Louis, but Louis pretends he didn't hear, and I grimace. _Its official; I have split up Larry Stylinson. What a bitch… _Harry frowns at Louis, but when he realises he's not going to get an answer, he shrugs and sits next to me. He kisses me lightly on the lips and I giggle.

"Morning, you. Sleep alright?" He smiles, taking a sip of his coffee and looking me up and down. I smile and then look at Louis, who is making two identical cups of tea. He puts one down on the table in front of me and then sips at the other. I'm so fussy with tea that no-one ever bothers making me it, but when I take a sip, it's perfect. _He has his tea exactly the same as mine?_ _Another thing we have in common… _I look back at Harry, who is oblivious to my thoughts _(thank God…)._

"Yeah, I slept fine, thank you." I smile shyly and sip at my tea.

"Yeah, I'll bet you did." Liam mutters, and I turn and glare at him. "Sorry." He smiles, and Niall laughs.

"Nialler?" I sigh. "Okay, whoever wants to laugh; get it over and done with. Go on." There is a brief moment of silence, and then Liam and Niall start laughing, and Louis hides a smile. My cheeks flush crimson, and Harry pulls me into his lap. I bury my head in his chest in an effort to hide my embarrassment, and I can feel him shaking with silent laughter.

"Aw, I'm sorry, Jordan, but it's so easy to wind you up!" Liam stops laughing and ruffles my hair. "Sorry."

"Yeah, sorry Jordan." Niall laughs. I stand up and drink the last of my tea, and then I dump my cup in the sink.

"I'm going for a shower." I huff, and the boys laugh at me again. I walk out of the door, and Harry follows me. Just as I start to walk up the stairs he grabs me by the waist and turns me around. Then he presses me up against the wall and kisses me like there's no tomorrow, and my heart almost jumps out of my chest.

"Now that is a "good morning" kiss." He chuckles, pulling away from me. I move with him and kiss him again.

"Mmmhh." I sigh. He grinds against me, and I giggle and push him away. "Harry, we are in a house of full of people!"

"That didn't stop you yesterday afternoon." He whispers seductively in my ear and presses me against the wall again.

"No, we were alone yesterday afternoon!" I protest.

"Well, we weren't alone last night." he laughs. He kisses the base of my neck and I moan softly.

"Ew; save it for the bedroom, guys." Zayn says as he walks out of the bathroom behind us. I gasp, and Harry pulls away from me and grins. Zayn just shakes his head and walks past us to the kitchen.

"Well that was embarrassing." I groan. Harry just laughs and starts kissing my neck again. "Harry..."

"You know you want to." He says, slipping his hands down to my waist and grinding me against him.

"Uh…" I sigh again, and he moans. "Harry… I need to go and have a shower!" I pull away slightly, and he gives up.

"Spoil sport." He laughs and kisses me one last time before running up to grab the bathroom before I can.

"Jerk!" I shout after him, and he laughs. _God, his laugh is sexy… _I smile to myself. As I'm climbing up the stairs I hear my phone ring, and I make a mad dash to Harry's room.

"Hello?" I answer.

"_**Hey Twin. I'm just making sure you haven't completely forgotten your education." **_She laughs.

"I haven't! Uh… Drama today, yeah?"

"_**Yes, Jordan." **_

"Okay, cool. I'll meet you outside the college…" I check my watch; 10am. "Oh; not for another 2 and a half hours."

"_**Erm… can we meet at Costa at 12? I need to talk to you." **__This sounds ominous… _

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you later then?" We say bye, and then I hang up. I grab my stuff and head for the bathroom, which is, thankfully, now empty. I love this shower; it's a cubicle shower, quite small, and it steams up pretty easily, so if someone comes in they can't see anything. I undress and then jump in, sliding the door closed behind me and ducking under the water. I'm just starting to warm up when I hear the bathroom door open. I shriek and turn around so I can see who it is. It's Harry, in a towel… which he drops.

"What the hell? You scared the shit out of me!" I slide the door open and flick water at him.

"Mind if I join you?" He says cheekily and slides in with me, not giving me a chance to answer. _Not that I'd have turned him down anyway..._. He closes the door behind him and dunks his head under the shower.

"Have you ever heard of the word 'privacy', Harry?" I sigh, and he pushes me up against the wall and kisses me roughly. "Seriously, it's just sex, sex, sex with you, isn't it?" I laugh breathlessly.

"Did you seriously expect me to be aware that you are in the shower, naked, and not join you?" He whispers in my ear and runs his hands all over my body. I when I say all over, I mean; all. over.

"Well, when you put it that way…"

_**One VERY steamy shower later…**_

"Harry, get off!" I giggle. We ended up in his room, and now I'm trying to get dressed but he keeps stealing my clothes. I'm stood in my jeans and bra, attempting to tug my shirt out of his grip.

"But I don't want you to leave!" He whines, grabbing me by the waist and pulling me back into his arms. "You're mine."

"I know, Harry, but Nialler needs me, and then Chloe needs me, and then I have college, so let go!" I squirm.

"Nope." He tightens his grip around me and I tickle him in an attempt to get away.

"No… no… get off!" I find his most ticklish spot and he kicks and squirms, still trying to keep hold of me. I eventually win, and I grab my shirt and head for the door. Harry chases me, and I swing the door open, run out and… collide with Louis.

"Whoa." Louis says, catching me. Then he abruptly lets go and averts his eyes. I blush and cover myself with my shirt.

"Jordan!" Harry calls my name, comes up behind me, and then sees Louis. He runs his hands through his hair. "Oh… hi."

"Yeah. Hi." Louis immediately looks away, and I feel like I'm going to cry.

"Okay, this is ridiculous. You guys need to talk. I'm going to find Niall." I kiss Harry on the lips, kiss Louis' cheek and then head for the stairs. As I'm buttoning up my shirt I hear the beginning of their conversation.

"I don't know what she's on about. We're fine." Louis says and tries to walk away.

"I know exactly what she's on about. Come here." Harry grabs Louis and pulls him into the bedroom. I laugh at the irony of that, considering their 'bromance', and then go in search of Niall.


	15. Love Hurts A Lot

_**Thanks for your reviews guys :') makes me so happy to hear what you guys think :D please keep reading and reviewing :) xx**_

Chapter 15- Love Hurts… A Lot.

"Nialler…?" I call out as I run down the stairs. I get to the bottom, and as I turn the corner I walk right into him.

"Oops; sorry." He laughs and pulls me into a bone-crushing hug. Then he grabs my hand and pulls me into the kitchen. I can't help but laugh as he bounces around the room like a kangaroo on speed.

"Okay; what you have been taking? I mean, I know you're the 'chirpy' one, but this is just excessive."

"Nothing; I'm just happy!" he laughs. He drags me through the room and then outside, grabbing a bag of marshmallows on the way. We sit on the swing chair, and he offers me the bag. I take a marshmallow and pop it into my mouth.

"So, what did you want?" I ask, even though I'm pretty sure I know what the answer is. He sits still for a while, chewing on a marshmallow and pondering what to say.

"Well, there's this girl…" he begins, and I smile; I know exactly who he's talking about. "I spent all day with her yesterday, and when I got home I couldn't stop thinking about her. I stayed up till 2 in the morning talking to her, and…"

"Are you talking about Chloe by any chance?" I laugh, glowing at the fact Niall feels he can open up to me like this.

"Am I that see-through?" he chuckles, embarrassed. I chew on another marshmallow, carefully forming my answer.

"Not really, but I noticed you guys doing some pretty heavy flirting yesterday, so…"  
>"Ah. That obvious, huh?" He blushes and puts another marshmallow in his mouth.<p>

"Yep. Painfully obvious." I laugh and lean my head on his shoulder.

"What are you gonna do, Nialler?"

"That's kind of why I wanted to talk to you; I haven't had much experience with girls, so… Oh, I dunno."

"Okay." I say, sitting up. "Well, you've only known her for a day, so you can't know if you really like her or not…"

"Yeah, but…" he interrupts, and I can sense him getting uncomfortable. "I spoke to her for ages yesterday, and, well… I, uh… I do like her. A lot."

"Aw!" I grin and take another marshmallow. "You should invite her out for a milkshake or something…" He nods, and I look at my watch. "Okay, well, I have to go and meet her in a bit, and then we have college, so text her about 4.30?"

"Yeah, sure. Do I take flowers, or…?"

"No, Nialler, we're not in the 1950's." I laugh, and he blushes again. "I need to go check on Harry and Louis, so see you later, okay? Good luck." I hug him, and he kisses me on the cheek. Then I grab one more marshmallows, pop it in my mouth and skip back into the house. As soon as I get near the stairs I hear raised voices, and I run up them, taking them two at a time. _Please don't hurt each other; please don't hurt each other _I repeat in my head. I burst into Harry's room; Harry has hold of Louis hand, and Louis is trying to leave. They're both angry and red faced, and several scenarios form in my mind. I shake them away and shut the door behind me, leaning on it so nobody can get out.

"What the fuck is going on?" I hiss. Harry drops Louis' hand like it's burning him and Louis sits on the bed and sighs.

"I've had enough of this." Harry stand in front of Louis, basically ignoring me. "Just get over it, okay?"

"Get over it?" Louis stands up and pushes Harry away. "Get over it? Are you actually kidding me?"

"No; I'm not. Just suck it up and get over it. She's mine." _Oh God, what the hell have I done? _

"She's not anybody's, mate. She's not a possession." Louis pushes Harry again.

"Don't push me, you faggot." Harry pushes Louis away. _Faggot? What the…?_ I'm obviously hearing the end of a very long conversation, because what they're saying now really isn't enough to be getting this angry about.

"What you gonna do; punch me? Fuck you!" Louis sticks his middle finger up at Harry, and I can't believe what I'm seeing; it's like I'm watching two entirely different people. 'Sarcastic Louis' is back, Harry's turning violent again, and it's all my fault.

"You know what? Fuck you, you wanker!" Harry spits, and I run between them just as Harry raises his arm. The punch that was meant for Louis hits me squarely in the nose, and I fall to the floor.

"Bastard." Blood runs down my face and into my mouth at an alarming rate. I spit it out on to the floor and cup my hands over my nose. Louis drops to his knees next to me, and Harry just backs away.

"Oh shit. NIALL?" Louis yells. I hear banging, and Niall runs in to the room.

"What the fuck?" He stares at me in shock. "What happened?"

"I… I… I punched her." Harry stammers. "I, I actually punched someone. Oh God; I punched her…"

"It was an accident. He went for me and Jordan got in the way." Louis says in Harry's defence. Niall looks at Harry, who finally regains his senses and drops down next to me.

"Niall, go and get a towel and a bowl of warm water. Quick as you can, please." Louis stays calm, while tears pour from my eyes just as fast as the blood pours from my nose. I lean forwards to stop the blood going into my mouth.

"Jordan, you are going to have to let me see, okay?" My first instinct is so shake my head, which doesn't exactly help. "Jordan, please. I'm not going to hurt you, okay? I just want to see if it's broken."  
>"C'mon babe…" Harry rubs my back reassuringly. "Just let him see, okay?" I look up into Harry's sea-green eyes, and the remorse, pain and sadness that fills them makes me cry even harder. I pull my hands away, and Louis nods.<p>

"Good girl." He smiles. "Okay, well, it doesn't look broken; I think you'll be okay. Is the bleeding slowing down?" I bite back a sarcastic remark and concentrate on the blood flow. I nod slowly, and he sighs in relief. I tilt my face back down to the floor and cover my nose again. "Okay, good. Don't move your head, okay? NIALL?" Niall bustles into the room with a bowl of water and a pink towel. He sets it down next to us and grips one of my hands. Louis dunks the towel in the water and proceeds to wipe the blood off of my face, being careful to avoid my nose, and eventually the blood stops, as does my tears. I have to mention at this point that I am incredibly squeamish, and I have a very low pain-threshold, so this is actually probably not as bad as I'm making out. Louis carefully cleans the blood from my nose, and I grab one of his hands so I don't scream. Niall squeezes my other hand, and Harry keeps rubbing my back.

"So much drama, eh?" Niall teases me. "I've never met someone so dramatic in my life… well, except for Louis of course!" Everyone laughs, and I look at Harry, who looks so guilty I think he may cry.

"I'm okay." I whisper to Harry. He grimaces, and I let go of Niall's hand and cup Harry's cheek. "I'm fine. It's okay."

"No, it's not. I'm so awful." Harry pulls away from me and puts his head in his hands.

"No you're not." Louis says softly before I can say anything. He hands me the towel, whispers "keep that pressed to your nose" and puts his hands on Harry's shoulders. Harry looks up into Louis' eyes and grimaces. "This is my fault as well. I shouldn't have said anything to either of you. I'm sorry." He hugs Harry, kisses my forehead, grabs Niall and the bowl and walks out.

"Well, this has been eventful. " I glance at my watch; 12.05. "Shit; Chloe! Harry, take my phone and call Chloe. Tell her I'm running a bit late and I'll be at Costa a.s.a.p."

"You're still going?" He raises his eyebrows.

"Yes, Harry. I still have an education. When does your Mum get home, by the way?" I stand up and head for the bathroom. He grabs my phone and follows me.

"In about an hour." He grabs my shoulder and turns me around. "Are you actually going to pretend nothing happened?"

"Yes. Everything is fine. Now phone her!" Harry shakes his head and leaves, and I turn to the mirror and wipe the last traces of blood from my face. Then I change my blood-stained shirt for a clean one, apply some make up, and when I'm happy with my appearance I head for the door. Harry stops me before I can leave.

"I'm so s…" I silence him with a kiss, which surprises us both. I'm actually handling this quite well. _Well, let's face it; it's not the first time he's made my face bleed in the last week…_ "Harry, I love you, okay? And I know you didn't mean to hurt me. Let's face it; I've done worse to you. The best thing you can do is just forget about it, yeah? In fact, no; the best thing you can do is stop fighting Louis, okay? He's your best friend and it pains me to see you guys like this."

"Okay, I promise. I'll go apologise, okay?" He kisses me softly. "I love you too." He strides out of the room, and I'm surprised at my ability to stay calm. _Niall's right… it's just one big drama after another. When will it end? _I walk down the stairs, and then a thought hits me; how am I going to get there? My car's at home… Oh well; I'll walk. It's not that far. I put my red Converses on, my purple Jack Wills hoodie (_okay, that's a lie; I've stolen Harry's…_) and head outside.

When I get there, Chloe waves at me frantically from inside the shop. I order myself a hot chocolate and head towards her, and when I sit down, I notice red rims around her eyes and a scrunched up tissue in her hand.

"Christ, Chloe; what's wrong?" I ask, taking her free hand in mine. She looks at me properly, and I'm stunned by the fear in her eyes. "Clo?"

"Oh, God, Jordan…" She sighs and hiccups; she's obviously been crying for a while now.

"Chloe, I'm really worried now. Tell me what's wrong." I grip her hand tightly and wipe away a tear that rolls out from underneath her glasses. She lets go of me and runs her hand through her newly dyed black hair.

"Jordan, I think…" She starts to cry. "I'm pregnant."


	16. Lies and Truths

_**Sorry that it's taking me so long to upload, but I am soooooooo overrun with course work and homework that I have no time for anything else. Sorry guys D: will upload whenever I can, but you guys may have to wait a while D: enjoy this one though; just a small fill-in chapter, but I hope you like it (: **_

Chapter 16: Lies and Truths

I walk home from college, still reeling from my conversation with Chloe. I just don't know what to say, or do. _I have to talk to someone… _I realise that out of habit I have walked to Harry's parent's house, and I don't have a key, so I knock on the door. Luckily Niall is in, and when he opens the door a new kind of pain hits me;_ what about Niall? What's his part in all of this? What a mess…_  
>"Hey Jordan, how was college?" he asks. I'm not sure of what to say. I just shake my head, and he instantly pulls me into a hug. "Are you okay?"<br>"Not really." I sigh. He pulls me inside and heads for the kitchen. He pushes me towards the table, gets us both a can of diet Coke and a small bag of M&M's each out of the fridge, and sits down in front of me.

"Here you go." He says, sliding my drink and M&M's towards me. He looks down at his can and asks "What's up?"

"Erm…. It's Chloe." I sigh. He instantly looks up at me, and I backtrack. "No, she's fine… I guess. It's just…"

"Just spit it out, Jordan." He takes a sip of his drink casually but I know he's really worried.

"Well… she's…. uh…" I'm not sure if I should tell him, but I do anyway. "She's pregnant."

"Oh." He starts eating his chocolate, unsure of what to say. After a while, he asks "Does she know who the Dad is?"

"Yeah; her ex-boyfriend, Jack, who is a soldier, and he… uh, left for Afghanistan about a month ago."

"Ah, okay. Is she… does she know what she's gonna do about the…uh, the baby?"

"No." I'm surprised at how well he's taking this. I mean, after all, he just found out the girl he likes is having someone else's baby, and I'm really worried that he'll not want to be with her anymore. We sit in silence for a while, and I push my chocolate away, too wired up to eat. He pushes them back to me and tells me to eat them because food makes everything better. I laugh, and he looks at me strangely.

"Erm… do you think I should talk to her? See if she's okay?" he asks, blushing slightly.

"I don't know whether I should have told you or not… She might hurt me." I laugh, trying to lighten the mood, but Niall doesn't really laugh with me.

"I don't care. I want to talk to her." he says stubbornly.

"Okay, well… how about I convince her to come here, and when I've spoken to her I'll get her to talk to you, yeah?" He nods, and I smile sadly; I'm so glad that he's willing to be there for her. Not many guys are like that; there are some out there, but there aren't many of them. I phone Chloe, and after a while I manage to convince her to come round.

"Okay, she'll be here in about an hour." Niall nods and a thought strikes me. "Nialler; where are the others?"

"Liam and Louis are out in the "flat" playing on the Xbox, Harry has gone shopping with his parents, and Zayn… well, I don't actually know where Zayn is. He just disappeared…" Niall shrugs and I'm equally confused. Zayn has been acting kind of strange recently, and I am going to find out why. I phone him, and he answers on the first ring.

"_**Hello?"**_

"Hey Zayn, what you up to…?"

"_**Uh, I'm in the flat playing on the Xbox…" **_I go outside and peer through the window, and Liam and Louis wave back.

"No you're not, Zayn, because I'm looking into the flat now. Where are you?"

"_**Did I say in the flat? I meant at a mates…" **_he says, unconvincingly.

"I don't believe you, Zayn."

"_**I am!"**_ He sounds even less convincing and I laugh.

"Just tell me where you are, and if it's that big a deal to you; I won't tell anyone, I promise."

"_**Uh… Well… I… Ah fuck; I'm with my girlfriend." **_

"Wait, what? You have a girlfriend? Do the others know?"

"_**Yeah, but only them; we just don't want any of the fans finding out yet because they'll spread it, and… well… Gemma's just a normal girl, and she's really worried about the fans' reaction…"**_

"Okay… you could have told me though!" I laugh, and if he was here I would hit him on the arm. "Bring her back here!"

"_**Okay, but nobody else finds out yet, okay?"**_

"Uh… Chloe's gonna be here in a bit…. She won't tell anyone though! I'll tell her Gemma's just a mate if you want…"  
><em><strong>"No, it's fine. We're just at the park, so we'll be back in a bit." <strong>_We say goodbye, and then he hangs up. I turn around and Niall is looking at me sheepishly. I don't even bother telling him off for not telling me about Zayn. I guess I don't really have a reason for being mad… I mean, it's not like I'm starting to feel like part of the group or anything…

"Hey there, sexy girl." Harry wraps his arms around my waist from behind me, interrupting my inner monologue.

"Well, you can't be talking about me." I mutter self-consciously, and he turns me around and grabs my cheeks.

"Don't. Be. A. Prick." He pierces me with his beautiful green eyes, and I blush. Then he leans in and kisses me lightly, and I only realise now how much I have missed him today; no matter what happened this morning.

"Well, I'm gonna go watch T.V, okay…" Niall grabs his drink and half empty bag of M&M's and leaves the room. Harry's hands slide down to my waist and he pulls me into him. I bury myself in his warm embrace and try to forget everything that's happened today. I fail, and I'm about to ask if Harry has talked to Louis yet when Louis walks into the kitchen.

"Hey guys." Louis smiles and pats Harry on the shoulder. We both say hi back, and he grabs two beers and heads back out to the "flat". Another though pops in to my head.

"Harry… how much longer are you staying here?" I ask him. He sits down on a chair in front of the kitchen table and pulls me into his lap.

"Well, we have a photo-shoot near here in about 2 weeks, so we'll be staying till then, and then we'll probably go back to our flats in London." He sighs, and I face what I've been dreading for a while.

"I can't go with you because of college." My eyes start to water.

"I know. But we can talk all the time, and we can visit each other on weekends?" He tries to be optimistic.

"Yeah, I guess… Promise me you'll get Skype so we can talk face to face… ish…" I tap him on the nose.

"Yes, I promise. But we don't have to think about that for a while, so stop being so miserable. Let's just make the most of the next few weeks then, shall we?" He brushes the hair from my face and I hold his hand to my cheek.

"Yeah…. I love you, Harry." I smile, and he wipes a tear from my cheek.

"I love you too, you silly girl." He laughs and kisses me sweetly, and just for a moment, all my worries melt away.

"Hey guys." Zayn walks in the back door followed by a tall, dark haired girl. Her curly hair frames her heavily eye-lined face perfectly, and a jolt of recognition runs through me.

"Jordan Jones?" She steps forward and raises an eyebrow.

"No. Way." I grin at my old best friend. "Well, well, well; long time no see, Gemma Dance."


	17. An Old Friend And Some Big Decisions

_**Again, I'm so sorry that it's taking me so long to write! I have so much to stress about at the moment that unfortunately this story isn't a big priority D: thank you for all of your feedback though; it makes me so happy xD please keep reading and reviewing, and I will upload whenever I can :) love you guys :3 xxxx**_

Chapter 17: An Old Friend And Some Big Decisions

As soon as I realise who Gemma is I become the geeky 15 year old who used to sit in the library every lunch with her best friend, discussing band members and writing stories. She grins madly, opens her arms and I run into them; I only realise now how much I've missed her in the past year.

"GEMMA!" I hug her tight. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too, you dweeb." I look up into her eyes and see them glistening. I smile at her soppiness.

"What have you been doing the past year?" I drag her into the family room and sit down on the sofa.

"Forensic science course at college." She says, sitting down next to me. "You?"

"Maths, Further Maths, Physics, Drama and Music." I smile. Zayn and Harry stand in the doorway and smile at us.

"Still set on being a Maths teacher, then? And 5 courses? Are you insane?" She laughs.

"I found the work load manageable, and I found a way to do music; my mum got a new job and paid for me to get base guitar and singing lessons." She shakes her head at me, and Harry mouths "you're insane!" at me. I laugh quietly.

"Yes, I am insane. We've established that. Now leave me alone!" I glare playfully at Harry, who holds his hands up in surrender. "So… How did you two meet? How long have you been together? All of the details please!"

"Well… we just kind of bumped into each other-literally- when I went to visit my Auntie in Bradford… it was at least a month before he went on X factor..." Gemma blushes slightly and I laugh. "We got talking and he found me on Facebook, and we've been friends for ages, and then we kind of moved on from there. We got together about 3 days ago. Now tell me; what's the deal with you and Harry? You finally got together?" I look up at Harry, but he and Zayn have left. In a way I'm kind of glad, because now Gemma and I can really catch up. We talk for a while about… well, about everything; Mum, Dad, Harry; everything. We're just talking about my Louis-and-Harry drama when I hear a knock on the front door.

"Excuse me; I have to go get that." I'm just walking out of the room when Harry comes out of the kitchen. He takes my hand in his and follows me to the door. I pull the door open and Chloe's smiles at me timidly. I reach for her and she falls into my arms, sobbing quietly, and Harry lets go of my hand and disappears into the kitchen. He comes back shortly afterwards, followed by Niall, who takes one look at Chloe and pulls her into his arms. She sobs harder, and Niall mouths at me "what do I do now?" I mouth back that I've told Chloe that he knows, and he pulls her into the kitchen, whispering that everything is going to be okay. My eyes fill with tears, and Harry pulls me into a hug.

"Shhhh, it's okay." He says. I bury my head in his chest and hold back tears.

"No, it's not; she has no idea what to do, and neither do I." I sigh heavily. Harry pulls back and cups my face in his hands.

"About what?" he says curiously, and I realise that I haven't had chance to tell him.

"Oh, God… I already told Niall when I wasn't supposed to, and…" I sigh.

"Babe; this is me. You can tell me." He wipes a tear from my cheek.

"Chloe's pregnant." I whisper. He drops his hands and his eyes widen in shock.

"Tell me they didn't…" He raises his eyebrows and I hit him on the arm.

"No, you douche-bag, it is NOT Niall's…" I shake my head. "Just an ex-boyfriend. Point is; she doesn't know what to do, and I'm supposed to be helping but I don't know what to do either, and I'm so useless, and…" Harry puts his hand over my mouth and shakes his head.

"No. This isn't about you. You have problems of your own; don't stress over this either." I pull away from him.

"How can I not stress over this, Harry? She's like my sister!"

"Don't start. Please don't start." He shakes his head and grabs my hand but I yank my arm away.

"Don't start. Don't. Start? You f… frigging started this, not me!" I try to keep my voice lowered.

"I'm sorry. I forgot what you and Chloe are like. I'm really sorry; please don't be mad." His attitude changes abruptly, and he holds out his hands to me. "Please can we not argue?"

"Oh." I was all geared up for a fight, and suddenly he apologises? _This is… strange… _"Wait, what?"

"I was wrong. I'm sorry." He kisses me on the cheek, and I lean back and glare into his eyes.

"You never admit when you're wrong. What have you done?" I instantly jump to the wrong conclusion.

"I just don't want to fight. Now that's wrong too?" He shakes his head and walks into the kitchen. Gemma pokes her head out of the family room. _Great; she heard all of that._

"You okay?" she asks. I just shake my head, and she hugs me. Zayn walks out of the kitchen and glares at me playfully.

"Oi; stop stealing my girlfriend!" Gemma pulls away from me, and Zayn wraps his arms around her and kisses her. She giggles and kisses him back, and I make retching noises. They both glare at me, and I laugh and go in search of Chloe. I find her sat on Niall's bed in the "flat", and when I walk in she runs into my arms. I hug her tight and she sobs quietly.

"What am I gonna do, Twin?" she whispers, attempting to control herself. Niall watches her carefully, and I can't believe what I'm seeing. He has the same look in his eyes that Harry has when he looks at me (when I'm not being mean to him…) - has he fallen in love with her already? I lead Chloe back to the bed, and Niall pulls her into his lap.

"Chloe, there is only one important question right now, because, providing you're not secretly a whore, we know who the father is, yeah?" She nods, and I carry on speaking. "So; how far along are you?"

"Erm… About 2 months, the doctor said."

"Okay. Look; can you handle a child? And if not, can you go through with an abortion or putting the baby up for adoption? You have to think these things over, okay?" I know I'm being harsh, but she needs to hear this. "You don't need to make a decision now, but you have to make a decision soon, okay? You have to. Nobody else can; just you."

"Okay." She nods and grabs my hand. "You're not… mad at me, are you?"  
>"No, you moron! How could I be mad at you?" I lean in and hug her tight. "I just… don't know what to do."<p>

"Yeah; me neither." Niall smiles timidly. "Guys are bad at this. I'm exceptionally bad at this."

"Don't worry." Chloe leans in to him and hesitantly kisses him on the cheek. The way they're looking at each other makes me feel like a third wheel, and I remember that I have my own issues to sort out. I kiss Chloe on the forehead, ruffle Niall's hair and then walk out. I pull the door almost closed and go to walk away, but I can't resist listening to them, so I peer through the gap in the door.

"Thanks, Niall." Chloe says, sliding off of him and checking her make-up in the mirror.

"No problem. I just…" he pauses, and I can see him blushing. "I want you to know that… that you're not alone."

"I know." She sighs lightly, and I see her hold back tears. Niall fights with himself before getting up and wrapping his arms around her waist. He leans his chin on her shoulder and talks to her reflection.

"I… I mean it Chloe. I'm here for you. I may not be of much use, but… Dammit, I just…" Chloe surprises us all by turning around and pressing her lips to his. Niall pulls away and smiles. "Yeah… that."

"I really like you too, Niall." Chloe smiles, guessing what he was going to say. "Thank you for caring."

"No problem." He leans his forehead against hers, and his hand slips down to her stomach. "Whatever you decide to do, I'm here." Chloe's eyes brim with tears, and I decide I've heard enough. Just as I'm making my way back into the house, Harry runs out and grabs me by the waist.

"This is ridiculous…"

"I'm so sorry…" We both speak at the same time and laugh. His hands lock behind my back and I wrap my arms around his neck, lacing my fingers in his soft, curly hair.

"You're right; this is stupid." I reach up and kiss him, our tongues entwining in a moment of passion.

"You shouldn't apologise; I said the wrong thing. I'm so sorry." He kisses me again and slides his hands down to my ass.

"We were both wrong. Friends?"

"More than that. Always more." He kisses me again, and we have a rather High School Musical moment; he lifts me off of my feet and spins me around. I giggle and look down into his eyes, and he slowly puts me down and leans his forehead on mine. "I love you, JJ."

"I love you too, Hazza." I laugh and connect my lips with his. His hands slide back down to my bum, and he's giving me his "I want you now" look when Niall comes bouncing out of the "flat" like the Duracell bunny on crack.

"I propose a double date. You coming, or do I have to venture into Zayn's room and get him and Gemma?" Niall laughs.

"No, let's go." I detach myself from Harry and turn to look at Chloe; the smile on her face stuns me, and I'm so glad to see her happy.

"Where to, though?" she asks with a big grin on her face.

"NANDO'S!" Harry and Niall shout together. Chloe and I laugh, and I grab her hand and pull her through the house. I swing the door open, and guess who is waiting for me. Yup, you guessed it; my Dad. _For fuck sake…_

"What are you doing here, Dad?" I ask. He smiles because I've said "Dad", and I give in. Why do I hate this man? He's my flesh and blood, for God's sake. He's done his time, he's said he's sorry, and Mum forgave him, so why can't I?

"I just came to apologise. I went to the house, but you weren't there. I figured you'd be here, so…"

"Dad. Just say sorry and mean it, okay? Please."  
>"I'm sorry, Jordy. I really am. I was wrong, and I'm sorry." His eyes fill with sorrow and regret, and I do what feels right; I reach out and hug him.<p>

"It's okay, Dad." He squeezes me tight, and I hope to God that I've done the right thing.


	18. Love

_**Hey guys! I'm trying to upload a bit quicker :D thanks for your reviews, in person and on the site :) keep reading and reviewing! Xx**_

Chapter 18: Love

***A week later ***

"JJ, wake up." Harry whispers in my ear. I roll over to see him propped up on his elbow, and he smiles at me.

"Were you watching me sleep?" I ask sleepily.

"Nooooooo….." he blushes.

"Liar." I tap him on the nose and he laughs.

"Okay, you caught me. But you're just so cute! You talk in your sleep, by the way." He grins cheekily. _Uh oh…_

"Erm, yeah, I know. It's embarrassing." I blush, and he grins again. "What did I say…?"

"Don't worry." He smirks and I roll my eyes; he's not going to answer. "Gonna get up any time soon?"

"No. It's 8 o'clock on a Saturday morning; I have no reason to be awake." I roll over again, and he slides closer to me.

"I can give you a reason, if you want?" he says seductively, snaking an arm round my waist.

"Nah, I'm tired. Sorry." I hide a laugh and slide away from him. He pulls me so I'm on my back and straddles me.

"You know you want to…" He leans down and kisses my neck, and I shiver with pleasure and anticipation. He runs his hands up and down my waist and touches his lips to mine, and then rolls over so I'm on top of him.

"Happy Valentine's day, by the way." he whispers in my ear as he pulls the cover over us.

**A while later…**

"Okay, you really need to get up now, okay?" Harry says to me. I open my eyes to see him stood by the bed in just his boxers. _I fell asleep again? Oops…_

"Meh, what time is it?" I yawn, sitting up in bed. He shows me his watch; 10.30am. _Well, that's not that bad…_

"C'mon; get up!" He pulls on my arm, and I laugh. _Why's he so eager for me to get up?_

"Okay, okay; I'm getting up now, alright?" I get out of bed, and his eyes wander over my naked body before deciding that whatever he has planned is more important. He chucks his purple Jack Wills hoodie and a pair of shorts at me, and I quickly get dressed. Then he starts to pull me towards the door, but he stops and gives me a hug.

"I love you, JJ." He says in my ear, and I giggle.

"I love you too, Har." I kiss him on the lips, and he smiles and yanks me towards the door again. He pulls me down the stairs, and when we get to the bottom he picks me up in his arms. I start to protest, but he ignores me and carries me into the kitchen. Harry's mum is in there talking to Louis, and when she sees us she laughs. Louis smiles brightly, but I can see in his eyes that he's not happy. I'm determined to make today all about me and Harry, so I pretend I don't see and carry on laughing with Harry. He carefully puts me down on the kitchen table and kisses me on the forehead, and then goes to make himself some coffee. I slide off of the table and wrap my arms around Louis, who hesitates slightly before hugging me back.

"Happy Valentine's day, babe." He whispers in my ear, low enough for only me to hear. Then he kisses me on the forehead, grabs his car keys and heads for the front door. I sit down at the table, and Harry's mum comes and sits next to me.

"Morning, hun." She smiles and hugs me.

"Morning." I hug her back.

"I know you've only just woken up, but I have to ask; are you definitely sure there's nothing you want to change for tomorrow?" I look at her blankly, and then it hits me; it's Mum's funeral tomorrow.

"Erm… no." Even the thought of it makes my eyes swim. "Thank you for everything you've done. I just couldn't…"

"Shush. I'm glad I could help." She kisses me on the forehead (_why do people keep doing that?_) and leaves the room. As soon as she's gone Harry appears in front of me with his hands behind his back.

"Close your eyes." He says. I start to protest, but he talks over me. "Just close your fucking eyes, JJ." I huff and close my eyes, and I hear him putting things on the table. Then I hear him walk away, and I start to open my eyes.

"Keep your eyes closed!" he says, and I cover my eyes with my hands. I hear more movement, and then I feel him breathing on my neck. "Open your eyes." he whispers in my ear. I open them and stare in shock; in the middle of the kitchen table is a giant vase of my favourite flowers, black roses, and a huge, pink card in front of it with "JJ" written on it. He kisses me on the cheek and then reaches over to get the card, and I take it from his hands and tear it open. Lots of little pink confetti hearts fall out, and I smile at the card inside, which has "to my girlfriend" written on the front.

"**To my gorgeous girl,**

**Happy Valentine's Day, baby. I love you so much.**

**Love From, Harry xxx"**

"Aw, thank you, babe." I kiss him on the cheek and prop the card up on the table. I get up to get his card and present, but he stands in front of me, blocking my way.

"One more thing." He smiles. "Well… one more present. Stay there." I sit back down and he grabs a small box off of the side, wrapped in purple wrapping paper. I tear into it, and when I see the little velvet box my heart starts pounding. _Oh my God; is that a….?_

"Before you panic," he grins, taking the box from my hands and kneeling in front of me. "It is not an engagement ring." I'm still trying to decide whether I'm relieved or disappointed when he opens the box and offers it to me. Two little silver bands sit amongst the velvet, and I notice an inscription on the outside of both of them.

"Promise rings?" I lean closer so I can read the inscription; they both say "A little piece of me is with you".

"I'll admit; Mum helped me choose them, so they're a little cheesy. I just wanted you to know how much I love you, without rushing into things. And when I'm away for ages, you have a little reminder of how much I miss you." He blushes, slightly uncomfortable with all the "lovey-dovey" stuff, and I hold out my hand to him. He looks at me, puzzled.

"What? You buy me a ring and expect me to put it on myself?" I grin, and he takes one of the rings and places it on my ring finger. I take the other ring and place it on his ring finger, and he smiles at me. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He kisses me, and I wrap my arms around his neck and entwine my fingers in his hair. He stands up, bringing me with him, and slides his hands round my waist. I'm very tempted to go back upstairs with him when we're interrupted.

"You gave her the present, then?" Harry's mum says from the doorway. I jump away from Harry and turn a deep crimson colour, and she just laughs. Harry walks over to her and wraps his arms around her.

"Yeah; they're lovely. Thanks for helping him pick them out." I smile.

"No problem! I couldn't leave him to buy a present alone; he's useless!" she laughs, looking up at Harry and grinning.

"Thanks for that, Mum." He says sarcastically. He kisses her on the cheek, and I run to the hallway and grab Harry's present from my hiding place. As I walk back in the room I find Niall and Chloe sat up to the kitchen table.

"Hey guys." I grin at them. "Here you go, Har." He takes the card from me and opens it first. He props it up on the table next to mine and then opens his present.

"My favourite! Thank you, babe!" He places the bottle of "Bleu de Chanel" aftershave on the table next to the cards and kisses me softly.

"EW; I'm eating!" Niall exclaims, shovelling cereal into his mouth. Chloe shakes her head and laughs, and I sit down next to her.

"Shut up, Niall. You're always eating." I flick him on the arm and turn to Chloe. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, thanks." She smiles brightly. "What about you?"

"Fabulous. You like?" I ask, showing her my ring. She leans down to read the inscription and smiles.

"Aw, that's so sweet. Harry's mum picked that out, did she?" she grins.

"Will you all leave me alone? I am perfectly capable of picking presents!" Harry glares at me and Chloe.

"That'd be a yes then." Chloe whispers to me and I disguise my laugh with a cough. Then Harry's house phone rings, and I'm the closest to it, so I answer.

"Hello?"

"**Hello, this is Nurse Rogers from Leighton Hospital. May I speak to a Mrs Anne Cox, please?"**

"Sure, hang on." I hold the phone away from my mouth. "ANNE?"

"Yes?" she asks, walking into the kitchen.

"Phone for you." I hold out the phone to her, and she takes it. I start talking to Chloe again, and I only hear snippets of Anne's conversation. All of a sudden Anne's face goes deathly white, and Harry runs to her to check if she's okay. She says good bye to the nurse and drops the phone on the kitchen side.

"Mum, are you okay?" Harry asks. She doesn't reply, and he takes her hand. "Mum?"

"Oh, God." she sighs. "It's Louis; he's in hospital." Chloe instantly turns to look at me, and I feel like I'm going to be sick. _Oh God… not Louis._


	19. Things Just Took A Turn For The Worse

_**Hey guys :) what do you think of the story? Review and tell me! Making it up as I go along, but I hope you like it :D sorry it's taking so long; stupid course work! Keep reading! :3 xx**_

Chapter 19: Things Just Took A Turn For The Worse

The drive to the hospital is completely silent. Harry is driving, Anne is sat in the passenger seat and I'm sat in the back. I glance at Harry and his face is full of worry and concern. I understand now; Harry doesn't just want to see Louis, he needs to. Louis is his best friend, and Harry loves him. I sit in the back seat and bite my nails; I'm worried about Louis too. We don't know what happened or how bad his injuries are; it could be a minor injury, or he could be dying. We just know that he's in Leighton Hospital, and Anne got the phone call because Louis said to phone her. At least that means he's conscious.

"Babe, you gotta get out of the car now." Harry opens my door and I realise I've not been paying any attention at all.

"Oh, okay." He takes my hand and helps me out of the car, and slams the door behind me . I slip my hand back into his and stroke his check reassuringly. "He's going to be okay, Har. Have you managed to get hold of Liam?"

"No. I don't know where he is, and Zayn and Niall can't get hold of him either. So I'm even more worried. What if Liam was somehow involved in this and got hurt, but nobody knows who he is? Or he's been…" I put my hand over his mouth.

"Harry, don't. You'll get even more stressed. We'll find him, but we have to go and see Louis, okay?" He nods slowly, and I kiss him lightly on the lips and then pull him towards the hospital entrance. Anne is already inside, and when we get in there she is arguing with a nurse at the desk.

"No, we are not the next of kin, but I got a phone call saying he asked for us especially, so let us in!"

"Miss, please calm down…" The nurse begins but Anne cuts her off with an angry look.

"Calm down? That boy in there is like my son, and he asked for me, and you won't let me in!" Harry lets go of me and walks over to his mum.

"Mum, please. Just calm down, okay?" He puts his arm round her and turns to the nurse. "Look, I'm Harry Styles, and…"

"The Harry Styles? From One Direction. My daughter is in love with your band!" Harry looks around to see if anybody heard, but thankfully nobody did. He pulls his hood up just in case and turns to look at the nurse again.

"That's really sweet, but my band mate and best friend is in there, and we really need to see him, okay? Please?"

"Well, if he asked for you, then of course you can; down there and to the left, okay?" She points to the nearest door.

"Thank you. We'd really appreciate it if no-one knew we were here, okay?" He smiles at her and she blushes.

"Okay." She smiles back and Anne walk off towards Louis' room. Harry grabs my hand and pulls me after her.

When we get to Louis' room we all hesitate, unsure of what we'll see inside. Harry takes a deep breath and walks into the room, and Anne and I try to pluck up the courage to walk in.

"Oh my God, Lou, are you okay?" Harry says from inside.

"Yeah, mate. I'll be okay." As soon as I hear Louis voice I run into the room. He smiles at me timidly, and I just stare in shock at his injuries; his right arm is in a cast, he has a bandage on his head, and every time he breathes he winces, which means he has broken ribs. He sees me falter and beckons me over with his left hand.

"Wha… what happened, Louis?" I stammer, and Harry sits a chair next to the bed and pulls me into his lap. Anne sits down in the only other chair in the room and takes Louis' unbroken hand in hers.

"Well… uh…" He takes a deep breath and winces, and we all instantly lean forward and start fussing over him. "I'm okay! I'm okay!" We all sit back and he starts talking again. "Well, these two teenagers were mugging a little old lady, and I couldn't just stand by and watch, so I went over and tried to stop them. I managed to get the lady away and inside the nearest shop, but when I walked out they ambushed me, dragged me into an alley and beat the shit out of me. They got me down on the floor and carried on kicking me until a load of people came over and stopped them." His eyes close in pain and my eyes fill with tears. Anne covers her mouth with her hand in shock, and Harry is furious.

"Did they get caught by the police?" Harry asks angrily. I grip his hands and tell him to calm down.

"Yeah; the people who stopped the teenagers managed to restrain them until the police got there." Anne reaches out and cups his cheek.

"You silly boy; you did the right thing by saving that lady, but you should have waited inside the shop until the police got there!" She shakes her head and smiles.

"I'm glad you're okay, mate." Harry smiles. "Hey; have you seen Liam?"

"Yeah, he went to get a coffee." Louis looks confused. "Didn't you know he was with me? I was taking him to meet Danielle, and we stopped to get some fuel. He was the first person to come over and stop the teenagers, and if it wasn't for him, well…" He stops, afraid of the end of that sentence.

"Hey guys." Liam walks in with a coffee in his hand and we all stare at him. He raises his eyebrows, and I notice how pale he is. I stand up and wrap my arms around him. "What's that for?" he laughs, hugging me back.

"You saved Louis. Did you get hurt?" I hug him tight and he winces. Then I notice a dark patch on his t-shirt. "Liam!"

"What?" He gasps as I press his side lightly. Then he looks down and his eyes widen. "Oh." He pulls his top up (_yum… inappropriate, Jordan!)_ and we all gasp. He has a large gash on his waist which is slowly leaking blood.

"Oh, Liam! Why didn't you tell anyone that you're hurt?" Anne jumps up and forces Liam to sit down on the chair.

"It's not that bad! It's only a little cut! I was more worried about Louis." Liam winces as Anne presses his shirt on the wound to stop the blood flow. He starts to look even paler, and I run outside to find a nurse.

"Okay, what's going on?" The nurse sighs, walking in the room after me.

"Uh, my friend was involved in the fight and neglected to tell anybody that he got stabbed." I say, sarcastically impersonating her pompous tone, and she gasps.

"Okay, let me see, hun." She kneels down in front of him and he lifts his shirt.

"It's really not that bad!" He pulls away from the nurse, who glares at him.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" She scolds him, pulling his shirt down and pressing it against the wound.

"Because I thought it was a bruise. I wasn't really bothered about myself; I was more worried about Louis!" The nurse presses a hand to his forehead and gasps quietly.

"Someone go and fetch a doctor, please." she says calmly. Harry jumps up from his seat and leads his mum to it, and then runs outside and grabs a doctor.

"What's going on?" He says in a broad Scottish accent, and in a different circumstance I may have gawped at him.

"He has a laceration in his side which is leaking quite rapidly, and he is cold and clammy." The nurse says.

"I'm fine! Leave me alone!" Liam says, standing up. He sways a little, and then vomits all over the floor. I step back, and Harry grabs my arm and leads me away. I hate sick, and if I'm anywhere near it, I'll puke. I pull away from Harry and turn around, and I see Liam vomit one more time before passing out. The doctor catches him and Anne screams. _Oh, God…_


	20. I Hate Hospitals…

_**What do you think? Nice bit of drama going on, eh? XD this chapter (which is really long!) is for Beth; I promised I would put you in the story, and you did such a good job of putting me in yours! Plus you are the whole reason I started writing stories, so you deserve a little fame XD and no, I will **__**not**__** be putting EVERYONE into my story! I may drop names every now and then though XD thanks for reading, and please review! **_

Chapter 20- I Hate Hospitals…

All I can do is stand and watch. It's like I'm in a bubble; I can't hear anything, or even react to it, I can just see the scene unfolding before me. Liam's eyes roll back into his head and he collapses, and the doctor catches him. Then Harry grabs my hand and the bubble bursts; suddenly the room is full of Anne's screaming, and the nurse tries to calm her down while the doctor tries to get a reaction out of Liam. I hear a pained gasp behind me, and I turn to see Zayn, Niall, Chloe and Gemma stood in the doorway. Zayn steps forward, but all he can do is watch as more doctors pile into the room and rush his best friend out on a stretcher.

"What's going on?" he whispers. Before I can say anything, Gemma takes hold of his hand and follows the doctors out. I tell everybody to stay with Louis, but as I'm walking out Chloe grabs my hand.

"I'm not leaving you, Twin." She smiles sadly, and I rush to catch up with Zayn, dragging Chloe with me. The doctors and nurses take Liam into a room and shut us outside.

"What happened?" Zayn says more firmly, looking through the glass at his best friend.

"Louis was driving Liam to meet Danielle, and when they stopped for fuel he saw two teenage lads mugging an old lady. He managed to save the lady, but the two guys attacked him and beat the shit out of him. Liam managed to stop them with the help of some bystanders, but he got stabbed in the process. He didn't tell anyone, and he's lost a lot of blood." Zayn's expression turns from sad to downright furious, and Gemma grips his hand tighter and shakes her head.

"Why didn't he tell anyone?" he says angrily. He doesn't really expect an answer, but I give him one anyway.

"Well, it was bleeding slowly, and he didn't notice it so much because he was so worried about Louis."

"How is Louis? We came here 'cause we hadn't heard anything and we got impatient, and… well, Niall and I didn't like being stuck at Harry's when we knew at least one of us was hurt." The way he says "us" makes me want to smile and cry at the same time; they really have become like brothers, and even though the bond between Zayn and Liam isn't as obvious as the bond between Louis and Harry, they're still really close, and Zayn is obviously really worried.

"He's okay, I guess; a few broken ribs, broken arm, head injury and various cuts and bruises, but there doesn't appear to be any long term damage. We didn't get much of a chance to talk to him, really; Anne spent most of the short time we actually had arguing with the nurse because she wouldn't let us in." I look into the room and immediately regret it; a wave of nausea hits me, and I collapse into a chair. Just remembering Liam being sick makes me feel like fainting.

"You okay?" Chloe asks, dropping into the chair next to me.

"Yeah, just feel sick 'cause of all the blood and stuff. I can handle watching it on T.V and that, but seeing it for real…?"

"You wanna get away for a bit? I could do with a drink, and Zayn will text you if he gets any news, right?" She looks up at him as if to say "do as you're told." He nods absentmindedly and then turns back to watching Liam.

"Okay, let's go." I hug Zayn lightly and then turn to Gemma. "Coming?"

"I'm not leaving him on his own." She shakes her head, a trail of black running down her cheek as her tears mix with her eyeliner. Zayn starts to protest but she wipes away her tears and holds up a hand. "I'm staying, and that's final. Now sit down." She drags him over to the chairs, and as we're walking away he leans on her shoulder and starts to cry. Chloe and I pretend not to see; he's too much of a "man" to allow anybody except Gemma to see him break down.

We walk in silence for a while, and then Chloe spots a coffee machine and makes me stop. As I'm waiting for the ridiculously slow machine to spit out her drink I see someone hunched in the corner. Her head is down and she has earphones in; she obviously wants to be left alone, but as a silent tear glides down her cheek my Good-Samaritan side kicks in, and I walk over and tap her on the shoulder. Her head snaps up, and she regards me with her cold blue eyes before moving her blood-red hair to the side and removing her earphones.

"Uh, are you okay?" I ask, crouching down next to her, and she nods and looks away. "It's just… I saw you crying, and…"  
>"I'm fine, thanks." she says, manners laced with sarcasm. I get up and start to walk away, but then I see another tear drop onto her lap, and I decide to be stubborn.<p>

"No you're not. " I don't know why I keep trying, but I feel drawn to her, so I sit down next to her. "What are you listening to?" She sighs and decides to humour me, obviously hoping I'll get bored and leave.

"My Chemical Romance." I smile; I probably should have known because of the MCR tee that's she's wearing.

"Awesome. What song?" She sighs lightly, obviously thinking I have no idea who MCR are, and I resist the urge to laugh.

"It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's A Deathwish."

"That's from "Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge", isn't it?" I say innocently, smirking at the surprised look on her face.

"Yeah. You listen to MCR?"

"Yeah; I have all their albums, and I've seen them live three times! I love your t-shirt, by the way."

"Thanks." She smiles, and I grin back. I've accomplished something, at least.

"What's your name?" I ask her, feeling like a 5 year old who's making new friends.

"Beth. You?"

"Jordan." I look into her eyes and I get that drawn-in feeling washing over me again. "What's your last name?"

"Law. Why?"

"You look familiar and I'm trying to place who you are…" It's one of those things where it's on the tip of my tongue but I can't quite remember it, and it's really getting on my nerves. "Uh…"

"What's your last name?" She raises her eyebrows as if to say "duh, that might help."

"Jones." Recognition flashes in her eyes, and when she smiles it hits me who she is.

"Oh my God. It's you… oh, what did Harry used to call you… JJ!" Memories of wasted science lessons and endless talks about music and fan fictions wash over me and I grin at her.

"Beth! Oh my God, I haven't seen you since Year 11!" I hug her tight and smile. "You dyed your hair!"

"Yeah, my mum finally let me! I see you haven't!" I let go of her and turn to look for Chloe, who's sat on a chair a few paces away from us texting someone; probably Niall.

"Yeah, well, when my mum finally said yeah, I didn't want to anymore." Mentioning my mum so casually brings tears to my eyes, and then I remember what tomorrow is, and I look away from Beth so she doesn't see me cry.

"Typical." She laughs, not noticing my tears. "Why are you here, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Visiting some friends." I say, discreetly wiping away my tears. "You?"

"Visiting my sister." She sighs and looks down at the floor. "She's got a brain tumour."  
>"Oh. I'm so sorry, Beth." I hug her lightly, unsure of what to say. Chloe waves at me and mouths "we gotta go."<p>

"Who's that?" Beth whispers, gesturing subtly at Chloe.

"Oh, that's my best mate, Chloe." I say, deciding that we don't have time for the "this is my twin" conversation.

"Wait, the one you used to talk about all the time?"

"Yeah." I smile. "We have to go now, sorry. It was nice seeing you though." We swap numbers, and as we hug goodbye I make a promise to myself that I will see Beth again.

Chloe and I make our way back to the room where Liam is, and Gemma is sat outside waiting for us. She gets up and hugs me tight, and I start to worry, but then she pulls back and smiles at me.

"Liam's okay!" She grins. "They had to give him some blood transfusions, and he'll be a little weak for a while, but he's gonna be okay! They've stitched up the wound, and as long as it doesn't get infected, he'll be fine."

"Good." I breathe a sigh of relief. "Where's Zayn?"

"In there. As soon as the doctor said Liam was conscious Zayn went in to see him, and I thought I'd wait for you guys."

"Thanks, Gem." I peer through the glass and watch as Zayn tries to cheer Liam up with some new dance moves.

"He's such a good dancer." Gemma sighs in awe and I giggle. "What?"

"Sorry, but you were totally fangirling then; over your own boyfriend." Chloe laughs as well and Gemma blushes. She starts to protest but my phone beeps. "It's Harry; they wanna know what's going on. I should go."

"I'll stay with Gemma." Chloe says. "Can you get Niall to come here though, please?"

"Yeah. Tell Liam I said hi." I hug them both and then make my way back to Louis' room. As soon as I walk in Harry strides over to me and pulls me into a hug, and Niall ruffles my hair and goes to find Chloe. I let go of Harry and hug his mum.

"What took so long? Is Liam okay?" Harry sits on the end of Louis' bed and pulls me into his lap.

"He's okay. He's had some blood transfusions, and he'll be weak for a little while, but as long as he doesn't let his wound get infected he'll be fine." Everybody breathes a sigh of relief, and I turn to Louis. "How are you feeling, Lou?"

"I'm okay." He smiles. His injuries kinda had to take a back seat because of all the drama with Liam, but I'm still worried.

"Are you sure?" I reach over and take his unbroken hand.

"Yes, I'm sure." He squeezes my hand and then lets me go, and I clasp my hands in my lap.

"I'm sorry for ruining your day." Louis says sincerely, and I almost believe him. Then I see a slight hint of anger in his eyes and I look away.

"Don't worry about it mate; it's not your fault!" Harry smiles, and then he notices the anger in his best friend's eyes, but he chooses to ignore it. He grips my hand tightly and I get up off of him.

"Okay folks, visiting time is over. You'll have to come back tomorrow!" A nurse says from the doorway. I hug Louis lightly, and he kisses me on the corner of my mouth. Harry's grip on my hand gets tighter, but luckily Anne doesn't notice. We all say goodbye, and then the nurse shoes us out. Louis waves bye to me, and when I look into his sea-blue eyes a realisation hits me, and I feel like the worst person on the planet; I've fallen in love with Louis, and I don't see myself falling out of it any time soon. _Fucking fabulous._


	21. Sadness, Grief and Despair

_**Thanks for your reviews guys :) Now that you've seen what JJ is like with Harry, and how things could have been with Louis, please review and tell me who **__**you**__** think she should be with (: thanks for reading guys, and I will keep uploading whenever I can (: I'm sorry if you think the story is dragging on, but I feel like I have so much more to give with it (: maybe I should leave some of it and write a sequel? Decisions, decisions…**_

Chapter 21: Sadness, Grief and Despair

"Baby, you need to wake up." Harry whispers in my ear. I slowly open my eyes to see Harry lying next to me and smiling sadly. Then I realise what today is, and I roll onto my front and bury my head in the pillow. "C'mon, JJ." He plays with my hair and sighs softly.

"I don't wanna get up." I whine into the pillow. _I guess being childish is better than bawling my eyes out… _Or at least that's what I think; Harry see's right through me, and he pulls me so I'm lying on his chest.

"It'll be okay." He whispers to me, running his hands through my hair. "I'll be there, the boys will be there, my parents will be there, and…"

"And my Dad will be there, won't he?" I ask quietly.

"Yeah; Mum wasn't sure whether to invite him, but after you made up with him the other day, she thought it would be okay."

"Good. He has a right to be there." I'm not sure whether I'm saying it as a statement or I'm trying to convince myself that it's true. Sure, I'm letting him back into my life, but I'm still not sure whether it's a good idea. "What about Louis?" Louis came home last night but he's been resting in his bed ever since. Harry sighs and takes his hands out of my hair.

"I don't think he can go, JJ. He's not really supposed to move because of his rib." _He's only broken one rib, thank God. _I'm slightly worried that Harry's annoyed with me, and I grasp his hand in mine.

"Oh, okay. What about Liam?" I ask quietly.

"Urm, he's doing okay, which is why they're letting him come home in about…" he checks his watch, "oh; now. I'm not sure if he's strong enough to go though…"

"Harry… I'm not sure I'm strong enough to go." I whisper it so softly that it takes him a few seconds to realise what I said. Then he wraps him arms around me and I take a deep breath, pushing back tears; there'll be enough of them later.

"It'll be okay, sweetheart." he whispers into my ear, and I giggle at his corniness. "C'mon; we better get dressed."

"Okay." I sigh quietly. I don't want to get up and face today, but I know that I have to, and I have the support I need. I kiss Harry on the lips and then get out of bed. He follows me, and I turn away from him and grab my bathrobe.

"I'm going for a shower." I smirk to myself, knowing what's next. Sure enough he slides his arms around my waist and pulls me close.

"Mind if I join you?" he whispers seductively into my ear.

"I thought you'd never ask." I whisper back, sounding equally as seductive. He leans down and kisses my neck and I shiver with anticipation. It's just what I need; a distraction. Maybe if I don't think about today, it won't happen… _Yeah, right…_

**Two hours later…**

"C'mon, JJ, we can't wait any longer; we need to go!" Harry tugs on my hand in an attempt to get me to walk to the car faster.

"Harry, just give me a minute, okay?" My eyes are already burning with tears and we've only just left the house.

"JJ…" Harry pulls me into a bone crushing hug and I bury my head in his chest. "I know you don't want to do this but you have to. You've got to be strong, okay?"

"But I don't wanna be strong! She's my mum… she was my mum…" On the word "was" my voice breaks, and tears start to flow steadily from my eyes. _I'm just going to spend the whole day crying, aren't I? _I think to myself. I bury myself deeper into Harry's embrace and sob quietly, and he rubs my back and whispers "It's okay" repeatedly in my ear.

"Jordan?" I hear somebody say, and that someone places their hand on my shoulder. I attempt to compose myself, and when I turn around I'm met with a familiar pair of deep brown eyes.

"Liam?" I hiccup, trying to control my tears. He grasps my hand in his, and then I notice he's wearing a crisp black suit, and his usually-curly hair has been straightened. "You're coming to the… the… the church?"

"Yeah." he nods. I start to protest but he smiles and places a hand over my mouth. "I don't wanna hear it; you need friends, and here I am." He pulls me into his arms and I hug him tight, careful not to hurt his side.

"Are you sure?" He nods and kisses my cheek, and I smile.

"I'm glad you're okay, mate." Harry hugs him tight, and he laughs. Then he walks over to Anne and leads her to the car, and Harry takes my hand in his. "C'mon, baby; let's go." I take a deep breath and follow him. Then another black car pulls up, and Chloe steps out, closely followed by Niall. She wraps her arms around me tight and I can feel tears threatening to fall. When she pulls back I look into her sparkly blue eyes and see that they're tinged with pain and sadness, and I realise that I'm being selfish; sure, she was my mum, but other people knew her and loved her too, not just me. Harry's right; I do need to be strong, but I don't just need to be strong for me, I need to be strong for everyone else as well.

"C'mon, Twin; you're coming with us." Chloe takes my hand. "Niall's driving, I'm in the front, and you're in the back." She turns to Harry. "You're going with your mum, Zayn, Gemma and Liam, okay?"

"Oh, well, I'd rather…" he starts, but she cuts him off with a glare. "Yep, that's fine. I'll see you at the church, then." He presses his warm lips to mine, then he kisses Chloe's cheek, nods at Niall and saunters off towards the other car.

"Why can't he come with us?" I say as Niall walks around the car to the driver's door.

"Don't worry. Just get in the back." She slides into the passenger seat and closes the door. I hesitate slightly, and she winds down the blacked-out window and tells me to get in. I sigh and slide into the car, careful not to mark my dress or catch my heels.

"Hey you." Says one person I really didn't think I'd see today. I shift slightly in my seat and am met by a familiar grin.

"Louis?" I gasp. Chloe chuckles slightly, and as Niall drives off, Louis entwines his hand with mine. "You're supposed to be in bed!"

"I know, but I couldn't stay there knowing that you- and Harry- need me." He smiles and I let go of his hand so I can put my seat belt on.

"Are you sure you're well enough for this? You should be at home, resting!" I want him to stay, but I know he shouldn't.

"Just shush, okay?" He cups my cheek with his hand and my eyes brim with tears. "I'm staying."

"Okay, but you have to promise to take it easy, okay? You sit down and shut up, and don't go saving anybody else, okay?" I put my hand on top of his, keeping it on my cheek. "I don't want you to get hurt again."

"I won't." He wipes a tear from my eye, looks at the front and then drops his hand. I turn and see Niall glaring at us in the mirror, and I blush; I know what that must have looked like. _Why do things have to be so complicated?_

**After the funeral…**

I stand at the door of the community hall, saying goodbye to the guests and thanking them for paying their respects. My Dad is stood next to me doing the same, but it's like we're both on auto pilot; we're doing all the motions right, but it's like we're not really here. My Gran (my Mum's mother) stands in front of me, her bloodshot eyes full of tears and pain, and I hug her one last time and watch her leave. Most people are leaving like that; crying and sniffling, knowing that everything is final and Caroline Maria Jones is never coming back. I'm one of the only people that aren't crying; I've cried so many tears for my mum that I don't seem to have any left.

Dad says goodbye to the last guest and turns to me, his forehead creased in worry and his eyes tinged with sadness, and I do the only thing I think I can do; I hold out my arms. He pulls me into a hug, which triggers tears I thought I didn't have, and I sob hysterically while he holds me.

"Why did this happen, Dad? Why her? Why us? Why did she have to die?" I spit out all of the questions I would have asked if he had been there when she died, and in his arms I feel like a small child again.

"I don't know, Jordy. I'm sorry; I just don't know." He whispers through his tears. I pull away and look into his eyes, and all I see is pain.

"Dad… where are you staying at the moment?" I ask, without really thinking.

"A mates… why?" He wipes away his tears and looks at me, puzzled.

"Will you… do you… Do you want to move back in with me? Mum left the house to me, but if you get a job and stuff, you could live there?" I see hope shine in his eyes, and I have to say a few things before he answers. "But I'm 18, so you can't order me around anymore, okay? And it is my house, so if things get bad again, I have the right to throw you out, okay?" I know they're very rude, and even harsh, things to say, but he has to know where I stand.

"Are you sure?" He asks, and when I see the hope in his eyes again I know… well, I think I've made the right decision.

"Yes. Can you wait until tomorrow though, please? I just really don't wanna have to deal with grown up stuff right now."

"Okay." He shifts uncomfortably, unsure of what to do. "Shall I go now? Will you be okay?"

"Yeah; I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" He nods and says goodbye, hugs me one more time, and then leaves. As soon as he's gone I'm gathered up in a strong pair of arms, and I start crying again. _So much for not having any tears left…_

"Oh, JJ." Harry's stuck for things to say, so he settles for just hugging me tight while I cry myself out. I pull away from him, and he's just about to say something when I get a sudden feeling that something isn't right. One word pops into my head, a word that burns me from the inside; _Chloe.  
><em>  
>"JORDAN!" She screams my name, and it's like a stab in the gut. I follow the sound of her screaming, and not being able to find her is one of the most agonising things ever. I hear a clatter of plates, and Niall sprints up behind me.<p>

"What the fuck is going on?" His eyes are wide with panic.

"I don't know! Where is she?" My hands start to shake, and I feel sick with worry. Niall starts to speak, but I hear Chloe scream again.

"The kitchen. She went to the kitchen." Niall runs towarsd the kitchen and I hear Harry running behind us. I get to the kitchen first, and the scene before me makes me drop to my knees in horror. _Oh no, please, no…_


	22. Life Is Hard And Love Is Painful

_**So, guys; what do you think? xD REVIEW AND TELL ME! xD Thank you for all your reviews and support; I LOVE YOU GUYS! ;D One more thing... please don't hate me for this! :( xXx**_

Chapter 22: Life Is Hard And Love Is Painful; Deal With It.

_Blood. Tears. Screams. Helplessness. Anxiety. More blood. Endless panic. Flowing tears and pain-filled screams. The agony of watching a loved one suffocate in their pain and worry. More helplessness. More tears. Flashing colours and high pitched wails. Cleanliness and bright lights, surrounded by pain and sorrow, euphoria and relief. Different feelings emanating from different rooms, all palling into insignificance…_

"Jordan?" That one, frail whisper is enough to pull me out of my restless slumber. I stand up from my sleeping position (curled up in the corner of the room in the most uncomfortable chair I have ever had the infortune to sit in) and stretch, sighing in quiet satisfaction when my joints pop and my muscles relax. I walk over to the bed, careful not to wake anybody, and grasp my twin's hand in mine.

"How you feeling, Clo?" I whisper, trying not to wake Niall up, who's pulled a chair right up to the bed and is asleep with Chloe's other hand in his.

"Fine. I wanna go home. I don't know why I'm still here, to be honest." She sighs quietly. At the sound of her voice Niall stirs, but he doesn't wake up.

"Maybe because you fell and hit your head, screamed for about 5 minutes and then passed out, and the stress could be harmful to both you and the baby?" I squeeze her hand.

"Maybe." She smiles.

"You scared me so much. I… when I walked in, I thought…" I take a deep breath, the words that are almost too painful to say sting me from the inside. "Well, I thought you were dead."

"Well, I'm not, so you can stop worrying now." She sighs, and Niall moves slightly and then sits up.

"Hello, beautiful." He yawns before leaning in and kissing her cheek. "You okay? Oh… stupid question, really…"  
>"No, it's not." She smiles and squeezes his hand. "I'm fine; just feel a little weird, that's all."<p>

"What actually happened, Chloe?" Harry says, walking up behind me and sitting on the bed, practically ignoring me.

"It's stupid, really!" She sighs and pulls her hand away from me, running it through her hair. "I was standing on the chair to reach the top shelf, slipped and banged my head. It didn't knock me out; I only passed out because there was so much blood!"

"You moron." I smile fondly. Niall shakes his head and squeezes her hand in both of his, just happy that she's okay. I'm being serious; there was a few seconds where we all thought she was dead. Zayn had to carry me out of the room because I was hysterical. The thoughts running through my head were suffocating me, and Louis spent ages trying to calm me down and convince me that going back in the room was a bad idea. Niall and I went in the ambulance with her and Harry and Louis followed us in Harry's car while Liam, Zayn and Gemma had the job of telling Chloe's mum.

"Jordan? Jordan? Helloooooooo?" Niall waves his hand in front of my face, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Huh? What?" I look up and everybody's frowning at me.

"I asked if you wanted some food, like 5 times."

"Oh. No thanks." I shake my head violently; there's no way I can eat anything right now. _I hate hospitals…_

"Jordan, you've been here for hours; you need to eat something." Harry frowns at me.

"She won't eat anything, guys." Chloe says. "Hospitals make her feel sick and she loses her appetite." She smiles at me sadly and I nod; she knows me better than anyone else.

"Oh; I didn't know that." Harry frowns. "Sorry."  
>"Don't worry. I'll get something later." I shrug. I look around the room and realise that Louis is sat in the corner. "Lou?"<p>

"Hey." He smiles, and Chloe frowns; he was so quiet that she didn't know he was here either. "Glad you're okay, Chloe."

"Thanks." She smiles. "How come you're sat over there?"

"I thought you were crowded enough already." He smiles. Niall turns back to Chloe, and they're both oblivious to what Harry and I can see; Louis is in pain, but he doesn't want anyone to know.

"Stay with them, okay?" I whisper. He nods, still frowning, and joins in with their conversation. I walk over to Louis and kneel down next to him.

"Hiya, love." He smiles and takes my hand in his. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Never mind me; are you okay?" I let go of his hand and lean on the arm of the chair. He looks down and me and nods.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He tries to hold my gaze but I raise my eyebrow and he looks away.

"I don't believe you, Lou. Is it your rib?" He looks at me for a while and then sighs painfully.

"Yeah." He frowns, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "It's getting better, but it aches."

"Well why didn't you say something? I'll get Harry to take you home." I rub his arm reassuringly.

"No, because he won't leave you, and you don't wanna leave Chloe, but if I'd have said something you'd have felt obliged to go when you'd much rather be with Chloe." I can understand his logic and I feel really mean.

"Well, Niall's here and there's no way he's gonna leave her, so I'm happy to go! Plus I reaaaally need a shower!" I laugh.

"No, Jordan…" I put my hand over his mouth, and he licks me.

"Ew!" I laugh and wipe my hand on his unbroken arm. "What did you do that for?"  
>"Well it got you to get off me, didn't it?" He smiles cheekily.<p>

"Arsehole." I stick my tongue out at him. "I'll go and get Harry." I get up and walk away before he can say anything.

"Chloe…" I say when they finish talking. "Are you going to be okay if we leave now? The doctors said you can come home tomorrow, so I'll come and pick you up, but…"  
>"Yeah, that's fine." She smiles and mouths "Louis?" at me, and I nod discreetly.<p>

"Okay. I take it you're not coming, Niall?"

"No; I'll stay here." Chloe starts to protest but he shakes his head. "Shut up, Clo. I'm staying and that's final." Her eyes fill with tears and he squeezes her hand.

"Okay then. I'll pick you both up tomorrow." I lean in and kiss her cheek, hug Niall and then walk over to Louis. I help him get up and then grasp hold of his hand. "Let's go."

**[Page Split]  
><strong>

"Here we are." Harry sighs as he pulls up outside of his parent's house, and I can hear rain pounding on the roof of the car.

"What if I wanted to go home?" I turn to him and glare. "You didn't even ask."

"Grow up, Jordan." He rolls his eyes, and I realise that he's stopped calling me "JJ". He always calls me "JJ".

"What is your problem, Harry? You've been like this for a while and I'm sick of it." I can tell when he's being off with me, even when he's attempting to be subtle about it. "Spit it out."

"I am not in the mood for this. Just get out of the car." He sighs angrily and opens his door.

"Don't you dare get out of this car, Harry; I am not finished with you." I hear the back door open, and Louis gets out of the car and slams the door behind him. _What the fuck is __his__ problem?_

"Don't talk to me like that, Jordan; just get out of the fucking car." He gets out and slams the door, and I do the same.

"Oi, I'm not fucking finished." He turns to look at me, glaring at me in the pitch black.

"Fuck. Off." He storms towards the house, and I run after him. I slip and land on my front, and he turns around. "Where the fuck are you, Jordan?" I'm swallowed up by the darkness, and he can no longer see me. "Jordan?"

"On the floor." I groan as dirt and grit get into the cuts on my palms.

"What are you doing on the floor?" He sighs, fumbling around in the darkness and the rain, trying to find me.

"I thought the floor needed a hug." I spit out sarcastically. "I fell over, you fuckwit."

"Alright, keep your knickers on. Are you hurt?" He finds me and helps me to my feet. As soon as I'm stood up he lets go of me and backs away.

"Yeah, try not to care too much." I stalk past him, brushing my soaking wet hair out of my face; I feel like a drowned rat.

"You're really gonna do this, are you? Turn this on me?" He grabs hold of me and spins me around to face him.

"Turn WHAT on you? You're the one with a problem, so spit it out." I'm close enough to him to see how angry he is, and I back away, slightly scared.

"COULD YOU MAKE IT ANY MORE OBVIOUS THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND?" He roars in my face, finally admitting what's been bothering him. He grabs hold of my arms and shakes me. "I LOVE YOU, YOU STUPID GIRL, AND HOW DO YOU REPAY ME; BY FALLING IN LOVE WITH MY FUCKING BEST FRIEND! DO YOU EVEN FUCKING LOVE ME?"

"I… I'm sorry, Harry..." I'm scared now; I've never seen him this angry before. He shakes me again.

"Sorry? SORRY? Is that the best you can do?" He kisses me, full of anger and passion, and it's the best kiss I've ever had. His hands slip down my body to my hips and he pulls me closer to him. I wrap my arms around his neck and shiver as his cold body presses against mine. He pulls away and looks at me through the rain, his eyes full of anger and pain.

"Harry, I…" He presses his cold, wet lips to mine again, silencing me.

"Do you love me?" he shouts at me, the rain and thunder drowning him out. "Well? Do you?"

"Yes!" I shout back. His grip on me tightens and he kisses me again, so passionately that I might faint. Then he pulls away.

"But you love Louis as well, don't you?" he shouts, tears in his eyes and pain his voice.

"I…" I don't know what to say. "I… Yes. I do love him." He backs away from me. "But I love you more! Harry!"

"That's not enough, Jordan. I can't share you; especially with him." He backs away again, tears spilling down his cheeks and anger filling his bright green eyes. "We… We can't do this anymore. We're over."

"No, Harry… Please don't do this! Please!" He runs into the house and I fall to my knees. "Harry?" I sob, my salty tears mixing with the rain. Then I see a figure in front of me, and I get up. "Harry?"

"You… you love me too?" Louis says bitterly, and I just stare at him. _He heard us? Oh fuck…_

_**Sooooo, what do you think? :O Please review and tell me! xXx**_


	23. I'm A Bad Person

_**:O what have I done? ;D I regret to inform you that this story is finished! This is the last chapter! I will probably do a sequel though :D thank you for your reviews, and thanks to the people who've added my story to their favourites/alerts because that makes me smile :3 please review and tell me what you think!**_

Chapter 23: I'm A Bad Person…

"You… you love me?" Louis says bitterly, and I just stare blankly at him. _Oh fuck… _"Well…?"

"I…" I don't know what to say. _Why is he asking me? He obviously heard the argument… _"Yes." His eyes widen in shock and his warm hands grip mine.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he sighs, the sound of the rain almost drowning him out.

"Because… because I love Harry too." His name is like daggers in my heart, and I sob quietly. "And now I've lost him…" Louis just looks at me, unsure of what to say, and then I see a sudden realisation spark in his eyes.

"That's why he's been mad at me?" He curses angrily and drops my hands. "Because you love me too?"

"I… I'm sorry." I say, looking down at my feet. "I never wanted this to happen!"

"Well it did! You led me on for ages and then got with my best friend, drove a wedge between me and him, and then broke his heart?" His rant comes out of nowhere and my head jerks up in surprise.

"I'm so sorry, Lou." I reach for him and he backs away. "No, please… not you as well, Lou!"

"Don't call me that." He shakes his head and anger flashes in his eyes. I suddenly feel empty inside; I've lost him too. "Everything was fine until you came along. Just go home, Jordan." He turns and walks away, and something breaks inside me. _I have to get away. _

I stumble along the pavement in my stupid high heels, making my way through the pitch black. I sob hysterically, tears blurring my vision, and I finally reach my house. I fumble around in my pocket for my keys and let myself in, and then I run upstairs to my mum's room, collapse on the bed and cry. Today has been one of the worst days of my life; one of the three most important people in my life nearly died, and the other two hate me.

I cry until I can cry no more, and a thought pops into my head. _I need a distraction; pain_. I walk to my room with shaky determination, reach for my sewing kit, and take out a needle.

"No, JJ." Harry's voice rings in my ears, and I remember the first time he caught me harming myself…

"_Get to your fucking room! There's no way that you're going out!" Dad shouts, swinging his beer bottle towards me._

"_Please, Dad; it's my 15th birthday for God's sake!" I flinch and he misses._

"_Don't talk to me like that!" He roars at me, and I discreetly glance towards the doorway. Harry's hiding in the front room; Dad doesn't know he's here. He throws the bottle at me and it narrowly misses._

"_Mum!" I reach for her, but she turns her back on me, pretending nothing is happening. How could she do that?_

"_Look at me when I'm talking to you, you stupid slut!" Dad backhands me with so much force that I fall to the floor. I stay there, and he grabs some money from my mum's purse and stumbles out of the front door._

"_Jordan? Are you okay?" Mum rushes towards me, but I shrug her away._

"_I'm fine! Just leave me alone." I run up the stairs and she doesn't bother to stop me. I run to the bathroom and lock myself in, and do what I do every time Dad gets drunk and hits me; I sit on the floor and reach for something sharp. I know it's stupid but the pain somehow makes me feel better; maybe it's the adrenaline? I don't give a shit why; I just need a distraction. I drag the razor across old scars on my arms, once, twice, three times, until the pain gets too much._

"_JJ? Are you okay?" I hear an anxious voice from the other side of the door. Oh shit; Harry._

"_I'm fine!" I say through gritted teeth. He asks me to let him in, but I refuse. I slice my arm again and wince in pain._

"_Jordan, let me in, now!" He bangs on the door but I ignore him. Then I hear a rattling; he's unlocking the door from the other side with a coin. He pushes the door open and stares at me in shock._

"_No, JJ." Harry gasps quietly. I ignore him and slice my stomach. That spurs him into action, and he wrestles the razor from my grip. Then he gathers me up in his arms and I sob on his shoulder. He whispers "shush" into my ear, grabs the first aid kit and carries me to my room. Then he carefully places me on the bed and starts tending to my wounds._

"_Why would you do this to yourself?" he asks quietly, pulling my top over my head so he can see the cut on my belly._

"_It's my escape." I whisper emptily. "It makes me feel better…"_

I meant those words then, but now I look at the sharp object in my hand and realise that it's not going to help. I drop it on the floor, and as I run to my room I make a decision; I have to get out of here.

**[Page Split]**

I drive through the dark, my tiny, shitty car crammed full of as much of my stuff as I could fit in it. I left a note on the door for my Dad, left a house-key for him with my most trust-worthy neighbour, and packed my stuff and left. Louis was right; running when things get tough is what I do best.

I peer into the darkness, trying to figure out where I'm going; I haven't been here before, but I need to talk to someone, someone who is totally unconnected to the situation. I pull up outside, climb out of the car and walk up to the block of flats. A familiar face is sat on the steps waiting for me, already pre-warned by my phone-call. She stands up and holds out her arms, and I run into them and sob hysterically. She holds me tight, two years of not seeing each other completely forgotten.

"I'm a bad person, Beth." I whisper between sobs.

**[Page Split]**

I wake up in the morning feeling like shit. I stare up at the unfamiliar ceiling and think about what a mess I have made of my life. I look at my watch; 11.30am. I hear noises from down the hall; Beth must be up. I get up off of the air bed, pull on a warm jumper, and slowly make my way to the kitchen. As I walk down the hall I look around the apartment; it's more of a studio flat. It's quite plain and simple; Beth only moved in a few weeks ago, so there are still boxes everywhere, and the walls are dirty white.

"Jordan?" Beth calls from the kitchen, and I realise I'm going the wrong way. I walk back the way I came and walk into a tiny kitchen, welcomed by the smell of coffee mixed with pancakes. "Morning, sleepy-head."

"Morning, Beth. Thanks for letting me stay last night." I smile sadly and help myself to a mug of tea.

"No worries." She smiles back and sips at her coffee. "Stay here as long as you want, yeah?"

"Thank you. It won't be for long; I just can't face going back right now." I sigh, and she nods. MY phone rings, and when I see the caller ID my heart sinks; Harry. I reject the call straight away; I am NOT talking to him right now.

"You can't ignore him forever, you know." Beth says, obviously bursting with things to say but not saying them because she doesn't want to pry.

"Yeah." I sigh. I turn my phone off and slide it across the table away from me. "But I can for a while." _I'll go back soon, _I promise myself_. But right now I need to stay away._

_Some stories have a happy ending. My one doesn't. Not yet, anyway…_

_**Well, that's it. It's over! Shit ending, I know, but I didn't know how to make it sound more… **__**final.**__** Please review, because I REALLY want to know what you think. Everybody! Even if you are reading this days, weeks, months after I have written it, I still want to know what you think! Thanks for all your support (:**_

_**DISCALIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE RECOGNISABLE CHARACTERS/BANDS/PEOPLE IN THIS STORY; I AM MERELY USING THEIR NAMES AND CHARACTERS FOR FICTIONAL PURPOSES. **_

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY SONGS MENTIONED IN THIS STORY; AGAIN, THEY ARE MERELY USED FOR FICTIONAL PURPOSES.**_

_**DISCALIMER: IF YOUR CHARACTER/NAME IS USED IN THIS STORY IT'S BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.**_


	24. NOTE

This is just a small note to tell everybody that there IS a sequel, which is called "The Truth Never Set Me Free". Thank you for all of your reviews, and I'm sorry that some of you didn't like the ending, but it is written like that on purpose so that it would be open for a sequel :)

Thank you all for reading, and if you like One Direction (and are old enough to read stories with adult content) then please read my story "Those Three Words Change Everything" which is about Harry and Louis ;)

Thank you xXx


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